Couple Who Resigned Discover They Like the Job Description
NOTTINGHAM, England — Six years after leaving working royal life to seek freedom, privacy and a new beginning, Prince Harry and Meghan Markle have returned to Britain and resumed the ancient British tradition of standing outside buildings while strangers take their photographs.
Nottingham Charity Tour Looks Royal, Isn't Royal
The couple's Nottingham charity tour included all the familiar royal ingredients: a carefully arranged itinerary, smiling crowds, flowers and photographers. The crucial difference was that it wasn't a royal tour. Officially, the Duke and Duchess of Sussex were private individuals supporting causes they care about. Around 50 people were reported outside Himmah alone, which is a respectable turnout for a private matter.
This is what makes the comeback so exquisitely British. The nation has spent six years arguing that Harry and Meghan should stop acting like royals. Now that they have returned to help charities, critics are furious that they appear to be acting like royals.
There is no winning. If they stay home, they're self-absorbed celebrities. If they visit a food bank, they're self-absorbed celebrities with a food bank. If Harry rescues a kitten, somebody will accuse him of conducting an unauthorised royal inspection of cats.
Why Prince Harry and Meghan Markle Left Royal Duties
When the Sussexes stepped away, they left behind duties that came with rules, hierarchy and constant public scrutiny. They wanted the liberty to choose their own lives. They have now apparently discovered that choosing your own life can involve precisely the activities you resigned from, except you get to decide what time lunch happens.
This is not entirely unfamiliar in modern Britain. People leave corporate jobs to become consultants, then charge their former employers twice as much to explain the work they used to do.
Harry and Meghan have simply upgraded the arrangement. They departed from an institution whose central public function included visiting charities, then returned as independent figures visiting charities while the institution wonders whether it needs a trademark lawyer.
Buckingham Palace Reviews the Photographs
One imagines a royal human resources manager examining the latest photographs with an expression normally reserved for discovering that a fired employee still has a key to the office kitchen.
A Buckingham Palace spokesperson, asked whether the household held a position on the visits, said the household held a position on most things and would be reviewing the photographs in due course. Asked what the review would involve, the spokesperson said it would involve the photographs.
Minutes of a household communications meeting, seen by reporters, record that item four, "Sussex visits (non-royal)", was deferred after forty minutes of discussion about whether to call them visits. Item five, biscuits, was settled in two.
Himmah, Epic Partners and the Community Recording Studio
The Sussexes' itinerary was not without substance. At the Community Recording Studio, a St Ann's youth charity built around music, film and mentoring, they met people connected with youth development. At Himmah, which runs one of the largest independent food banks in Nottingham, they supported work addressing food poverty. Epic Partners helps young people and families through sport, youth clubs and mentoring. These are worthwhile causes whether or not the visitor arrived in a gold carriage.
Yet the royal argument persists because Britain finds titles irresistible. An ordinary volunteer can visit a community kitchen without causing national alarm. Add a duke and duchess, and suddenly every handshake requires a legal interpretation.
What Counts as Royal Work in Modern Britain?
The simplest solution would be to establish a new constitutional category: royals who are not working royals but occasionally perform activities that look exactly like royal work, while insisting they are not doing royal work.
Naturally, the government would establish a commission. It would take fourteen months, cost several million pounds and conclude that the public should refer to the couple as "complicated".
A snap poll of 1,200 British adults found that 61 per cent could not say what Harry's current job title was. Of those, 23 per cent guessed "duke", 11 per cent guessed "something with a podcast" and 4 per cent asked whether the question was about the other one.
Britain's Royal-News Desk Refuses to Retire
Harry and Meghan could avoid the entire controversy by doing something unimaginable: visiting a charity without anyone noticing.
But then newspapers would need to cover housing costs, public transport or the economy, and nobody in the British media is prepared for that level of national disruption.
The Sussexes may have escaped the monarchy. They have not escaped the one institution even more stubborn: the British royal-news desk.
Five Observations on the Sussex Comeback
- They spent six years getting away from the photographers, then flew back and stood in front of a building in Nottingham. That's not escaping. That's moving the pavement.
- Think about the job they quit. Waving, flowers, a charity, a man in a lanyard saying "this way, Your Highness." Now they do the same thing, only nobody's allowed to call it a job. It's the world's most expensive volunteer shift.
- Everybody has an ex who says they're not coming to the party and then turns up at the party. Normally you just hide the good cheese. Britain had to hold a national debate.
- If a regular guy does this, it's called "doing the school run." If a duke does it, it's a constitutional crisis. Same flowers. Same smile. One of them gets a panel show.
- Somewhere in Buckingham Palace there's a person whose entire job is deciding what to call this. Not doing anything about it. Just the name. I hope they get a pension and a really good biscuit. https://prat.uk/?p=54906
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