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NYC Council District 3 Special Election Reveals That Even Hell’s Kitchen Has Strong Opinions About Socialism

West Village Voters Force Ranked-Choice Count After Mamdani-Backed Candidate Falls Short; Stonewall Has Seen Things But Not This Reported by Bohiney Magazine and The London Prat . NEW YORK CITY — The special election for New York City Council District 3 — a seat covering the West Village, Chelsea, and Hell’s Kitchen that has been held by an openly gay representative since it was drawn as a “gay-winnable” district in 1991 — produced a result that sent the race to ranked-choice voting after the top two candidates, both of whom pledged to defend trans healthcare and immigrant New Yorkers, both of whom focused on affordability, and both of whom agreed on most things that actually matter, were nonetheless separated by a six-figure outside spending war centered primarily on their respective relationships to Mayor Mamdani and City Council Speaker Julie Menin. The Race, Briefly Explained Carl Wilson, backed by Speaker Menin and most of the city’s political establishment, declared victor...
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Man Sets World Record for Most Unread Emails

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A Journey of a Million Notifications Begins With One Ignored Email Man Sets World Record for Most Unread Emails, Declares ‘Inbox Zero’ a Myth By Spamela Junkfilter, Digital Correspondent BROOKLYN, NY —In what can only be described as a monumental achievement in digital disorganization, software engineer Tony “Unread King” Giordano has shattered the world record for the most unread emails in a single inbox. As of Monday, Tony’s inbox boasts a staggering 4,293,202 unread messages, a feat that has left his coworkers in awe, his email providers in panic, and his parents utterly baffled. “I didn’t plan this,” Tony said from his ergonomic desk chair. “I just stopped reading emails during quarantine, and things spiraled out of control. By the time I hit 100,000, I realized I had a gift.” How It Started: Ignoring One Email at a Time Tony traces his descent into unread chaos to the early days of 2020. “It started with harmless stuff,” he admitted. “Coupons I’d never use, news...
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How to Escape the Internet Echo Chamber

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How to Escape Your Internet Echo Chamber: A Satirical Self-Help Guide Once upon a time in the vast, wild lands of the Internet, there lived a savvy netizen named Alex. Alex, like many of us, had fallen into the cozy, yet slightly suffocating embrace of an Internet echo chamber. This is the tongue-in-cheek tale of Alex’s quest to break free from the endless loop of agreeable content and venture into the great unknown of differing opinions. Step 1: Acknowledge Your Echo Chamber Residence How to Escape the Internet Echo Chamber Alex’s journey began with a startling realization during a brunch in Brooklyn (where else?). While savoring an artisanal avocado toast, Alex noticed that their social media feed was a continuous loop of avocado toast praises. It was then that Alex had an epiphany: “Am I living in an echo chamber where avocado toast is the supreme ruler of breakfast foods?” Step 2: The Decision to Break Free Determined to escape the echo chamber, Alex d...
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Mamdani’s Democratic Socialism Is Being Judged on Its First Budget Fight and the Verdict Is Complicated

The Mayor Who Says Progressive Politics Should Be Judged on Delivery Is Delivering a Budget Extension From Bohiney and The London Prat . The Mayor Who Says Progressive Politics Should Be Judged on Delivery Is Delivering a Budget Extension The Standard He Set NEW YORK — Mamdani said in a recent media appearance that ‘a democratic socialist politics is one that should be judged on its delivery’ and argued that ‘this is a politics that can flourish anywhere.’ The self-imposed standard of delivery-based judgment is the specific standard that the budget crisis is testing: the first test of whether democratic socialist governance can deliver in New York City is the city’s first budget under Mamdani’s administration, which has been extended to May 12 while Albany refuses the progressive revenue mechanisms the delivery requires. What Has Been Delivered What has been delivered in the first months: record-low crime statistics (54 Q1 2026 murders, historic low), the appointment of Julie S...
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Whoopi Goldberg’s War on Body Judgment

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Whoopi Goldberg Declares War on Body Judgment—While Ordering a Double Whiskey By Greta Weissmann ( Bohiney.com—certified to be 127% funnier than The Onion ) In a twist that’s raised eyebrows, the celebrity once dubbed “the world’s worst body” by tabloids is now preaching against judging stars for their looks. Whoopi Goldberg recently made headlines by slamming body judgment in Hollywood , passionately arguing that celebrities shouldn’t be critiqued for their looks. “We’re more than our bodies,” she declared, mid-rant on The View , while casually ordering a double whiskey like it was no big deal. The irony ? Whoopi’s spent years in the spotlight, often dodging harsh jabs about her own appearance—some calling her “the celebrity with the world’s worst body.” Now, she’s flipping the script, demanding everyone stop the size-and-shape obsession. But is there hypocrisy in her stance? “I get what Whoopi’s saying—body judgment is bad. But you can’t build an empire on criticism and then s...
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Adams Says ‘Free Is a Lie’ About Mamdani’s Social Programs; The Statement Is Gaining Traction in Certain Circles

Former Mayor Attacks Socialist Successor’s Spending Plans With Campaign Slogan That Is Also a Budget Position From Bohiney and The London Prat . Former Mayor Attacks Socialist Successor’s Spending Plans With Campaign Slogan That Is Also a Budget Position The Statement NEW YORK — Former Mayor Eric Adams, who is no longer the mayor of New York City but is clearly not finished having opinions about what the mayor of New York City does, responded to Mamdani’s budget announcements with the statement ‘Free is a lie,’ which is simultaneously a philosophical position about government-funded social programs, a prediction about the Mamdani administration’s fiscal trajectory, and a preview of what the Adams political comeback messaging will sound like if Adams runs again in 2029. The Context Adams’s ‘Free is a lie’ statement arrives after Mamdani posted a ‘Happy Tax Day’ video on April 15 declaring ‘We’re taxing the rich’ as the framework for the city’s fiscal approach. The Mamdani Tax Da...
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Mayor Mamdani Proposes Putting the Park Back in Park Avenue; Park Avenue Notes It Never Had One

Midtown Redesign Would Add Medians and Trees to Avenue Named for Railroad Tracks That Were There Before the Avenue From Bohiney and The London Prat . NEW YORK — Mayor Mamdani and the NYC Department of Transportation unveiled design concepts Thursday for a Park Avenue redesign that the Mayor described as putting the park back in Park Avenue, raising the question of when the park was there. Park Avenue was named for the railroad tracks that ran down its center before they went underground, after which a median was landscaped. The name survived. The park did not technically exist. The name persisted anyway, as New York place names do, with historical accuracy optional. What the Redesign Would Do The proposed redesign would expand the avenue median, add pedestrian enhancements, seating, and landscaping, and explore potential bike lanes. The project sits above the Grand Central Terminal train shed, which the MTA is rehabilitating below, aligning street improvements with underground in...
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