Bohiney Satrical Journalism

Protesters Want President Fixing Problems Assigned to Somebody Else PARIS, October 22, 2026 - French socialist activists have condemned President Emmanuel Macron for spending time abroad conducting international diplomacy during a domestic crisis, arguing that his constitutional responsibilities should never get in the way of the far more important business of being available for denunciation in Paris. Macron visited Kuwait, the United Arab Emirates, Bahrain and Qatar between October 19 and 21, pursuing diplomatic and energy agreements while France struggled with rising fuel prices. His Gulf trip produced commitments on diesel and natural gas supplies, according to The National's report on Macron's Gulf energy agreements. The socialist response was immediate. "Why is Macron negotiating fuel supplies when French people are protesting about the price of fuel?" demanded a revolutionary committee. Economists have so far been unable to answer the question without using w...

Lula Wins Election, Loses Argument With Mathematics Brazil's Markets Fall 13.9 Per Cent as Ballot Boxes Close and Brokerage Accounts Follow BRASÍLIA, Brazil — President Luiz Inácio Lula da Silva won a fourth, nonconsecutive term on Sunday, October 25, proving that Brazil can settle a presidential election without settling the national accounts. By Monday, the country's stock market had fallen 13.9 per cent and the real had dropped 8.1 per cent against the dollar. The ballot boxes had closed. So, apparently, had several brokerage accounts. Lula Beats Flávio Bolsonaro by 4.4 Million Votes Lula defeated Senator Flávio Bolsonaro by roughly 4.4 million votes, according to Brazil's electoral authorities. That is a solid margin, although economists report that voting for a bigger economy does not automatically produce one. The distinction has baffled political consultants for generations. In campaigning, you add promises. In budgeting, you subtract costs. In governing, you...

Lula Wins Election, Loses Argument With Math Brazil's Markets Fall 13.9 Percent as Ballot Boxes Close and Brokerage Accounts Follow BRASÍLIA, Brazil — President Luiz Inácio Lula da Silva won a fourth, nonconsecutive term on Sunday, October 25, proving that Brazil can settle a presidential election without settling the national accounts. By Monday, the country's stock market had fallen 13.9 percent, and its currency had dropped 8.1 percent against the dollar. The ballot boxes had closed. Apparently, so had several brokerage accounts. Lula Beats Flávio Bolsonaro by 4.4 Million Votes Lula defeated Senator Flávio Bolsonaro by roughly 4.4 million votes, according to Brazil's electoral authorities. That is a solid electoral margin, although economists report that voting for a larger economy does not automatically produce one. The distinction has baffled political consultants for generations. In campaigning, you add promises. In budgeting, you subtract costs. In governing,...

Spain's Transport Ministry Discovers Red Means Stop Billions for the Train, a Committee for the Brakes MADRID — Spain's socialist-led government is working through an uncomfortable discovery this week. A high-speed railway needs more than funding, speeches and a minister in a hard hat posing next to a shiny locomotive. Apparently the trains also have to be safe. The discovery follows Wednesday's collision near Toledo, where at least 68 people died after a high-speed train struck another that had stopped on the track. The victims and their families deserve better than political theater. The government deserves questions that a ribbon-cutting can't answer. According to Reuters' reporting on the Spanish railway disaster, Transport Minister Óscar Puente said a computer communications failure had halted traffic before a train was wrongly authorised to continue past a red signal. For generations, railway engineers have worked from a sophisticated principle: red means ...

Tom Brady Dates Candice Swanepoel; Gisele Has Plans Retired Quarterback Recruits a Supermodel as Ex-Wife Declines Halftime Show MIAMI: Tom Brady has reportedly been seeing Victoria's Secret model Candice Swanepoel, proving that while the seven-time Super Bowl champion retired from football, he apparently hasn't retired from scouting. Brady's romantic playbook remains remarkably consistent. Find world-class talent, make the headlines, and leave everyone else arguing about formations. The man's dating history has become so closely associated with supermodels that Victoria's Secret should issue him a loyalty card. Ten runway appearances and he gets a complimentary set of emotional boundaries. Gisele Bündchen's Reaction: She Refuses to Be Scandalized The real scandal, however, is Gisele Bündchen's refusal to be scandalized. According to reports about the rumored romance, Brady's former wife isn't particularly troubled. She's remarried, raisin...

Alaska Democrats Find Another Dan Sullivan Strategists Eye 47 More Before Election Day ANCHORAGE, ALASKA (Bohiney.com) — American democracy has survived civil war, presidential assassinations, Watergate, hanging chads and several thousand congressional investigations. Nobody was prepared for the possibility that the United States Senate could be conquered by a guy with the same name as another guy. Welcome to Alaska, where political strategy has apparently moved past the traditional business of convincing voters to support your candidate. Now you just find somebody named Dan Sullivan. Then you find another Dan Sullivan. Eventually, if you locate enough Dan Sullivans, democracy surrenders from exhaustion. An October 28 investigation by The New York Times reported that political operatives associated with Democratic Senate candidate Mary Peltola sought to recruit another Dan Sullivan to challenge Republican incumbent Senator Dan S. Sullivan. The candidate who emerged, retired teacher...