Bohiney Satrical Journalism

The City of Fallen Angels: How LA Became a Leader in Low Scores Los Angeles Once Marketed Sunshine, Now Sells Despair at a Premium Price Hollywood , CA — Los Angeles, a city once famed for its sprawling beaches, perpetual sunshine, and the Hollywood dream, now leads in something far less glamorous—its plummeting quality of life scores. Residents, once buoyed by the promise of year-round tan lines and sightings of semi-famous TV actors at Whole Foods, now grapple with the existential dread only a $5 avocado can instill. Here’s the rundown on how LA went from the silver screen to just plain old silver-haired folks reminiscing about affordable rent. The Great LA Letdown: A Study in Misery According to a recent survey conducted by UCLA, Los Angeles residents have rated their quality of life as just two steps up from living on a fault line—which, coincidentally, they also do. The survey, which factored in everything from the cost of soul-selling housing to the amount of time spent in ...

Trump Announces New External Revenue Service: The Art of the (Tax) Deal “Why tax Americans when you can tax everyone else?” says Trump. Experts remain stunned, comedians thrilled. In a move only Donald Trump could pull off, the former president has announced the formation of an External Revenue Service (ERS), aimed at collecting taxes from foreign individuals, companies, and maybe even governments. His reasoning? “Why should hardworking Americans foot the bill when we can just bill the world? Believe me, it’s going to be huge.” The announcement left many scratching their heads, economists debating their life choices, and late-night comedians scrambling for pens. Let’s break this down—and laugh along the way. The ‘Global Tax Grab’ Explained Trump’s ERS would impose “America First” taxes on foreign entities for “using American stuff.” The plan is to charge global corporations for American technology , culture, and even the English language . Yes, you read that right—if yo...