Bohiney Satrical Journalism

MSU Students Think Outside the Box and Redesign NASA Spacesuits… with Velcro and Hopes How MSU Plans to Make NASA More Stylish and Functional (Mostly Stylish) Move over Elon Musk and NASA’s design team— Midwestern State University (MSU) students are bringing their “out-of-the-box” thinking to the cosmos with the next generation of NASA spacesuit concepts. Spoiler alert: it involves duct tape, Velcro, and maybe a little bit of glitter for cosmic flair. When MSU announced its team was participating in the NASA SUITS challenge ( Spacesuit User Interface Technologies for Students ), the campus was buzzing. “We’re not just designing a spacesuit; we’re redefining the human experience in space,” said team leader Sarah “Techie” Thompson, who also made it clear that redefining the human experience means adding pockets—lots of them. The MSU Design Philosophy: Space Meets Pinterest DIY If you’ve ever wondered what would happen if a group of enthusiastic undergrads were tasked with r...

Tuberville’s Farm Bill: Where Farming Meets Filibustering The Senator’s Bold Proposal to Grow Crops, Cut Costs, and Confuse Everyone Written in Montgomery, Alabama, by Gale Force-Opinion Montgomery, Alabama – Senator Tommy Tuberville, whose background as a football coach seemingly inspires him to draw plays for public policy, has proposed a farm bill that’s got everyone talking—and scratching their heads. His approach to reforming food stamps by tying them to farming activities has sparked both praise and outrage. One thing’s for sure: this bill is not your grandmother’s agricultural subsidy package—unless your grandmother also hunts squirrels and plants wheat on her rooftop. Tuberville unveiled his vision, officially titled the “Grow Your Own Initiative for Nutritional and Economic Sustainability Act” ( GYOINESA ), at a press conference where he declared, “If you eat, you should farm.” The premise? Food stamps, or SNAP benefits, should come with a side of agricultural education...