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Vivica A. Fox was banned from Jimmy Kimmel Live!

Vivica A. Fox and Jimmy Kimmel’s 2005 Showdown In 2005, Vivica A. Fox found herself banned from Jimmy Kimmel Live! after an on-air confrontation with the host. The tension arose when Kimmel joked about Fox being a bridesmaid at her close friend Star Jones’ wedding. Fox called him out, leading to an awkward exchange. Kimmel, not wanting a repeat performance, decided to avoid future conflicts by banning Fox from the show. Years later, the two reconciled during a live event, bringing an end to the decade-long ban. Celebrities: The Glorious Saints of Meaningless Causes Once upon a time, celebrities knew their place—singing, acting, or falling down on live television during awards shows. These were simpler times when fame was limited to talent, charisma, or having a really solid publicist. Now, we live in the era where celebrities are more than performers; they’ve become our moral compasses, political strategists, dieticians, and relationship gurus. Truly, who better to guide us throug...
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Yankee Stadium Adds Yoga Classes

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Downward dog in the dugout According to reports , Yankee Stadium is introducing daily yoga sessions, where downward dog is performed in the dugout and warriors pose in the outfield. Fans are encouraged to “stretch before you heckle.” The first class ended when a Mets fan showed up in orange leggings and was booed into lotus position. Instructors chant “Om” while scoreboards flash “Namaste or Strike Out.” Vendors now sell kale smoothies instead of beer until the 7th-inning stretch. Players are skeptical—Aaron Judge reportedly pulled a hamstring attempting crow pose. But the Yankees marketing team insists it’s “mind-body-baseball synergy.” TikTok’s #YogaYankees bent trends: viral clips of grandmas meditating in pinstripes, pranksters balancing hot dogs in tree pose, and one video of a guy sneaking in a goat for “greatest of all time yoga.” Attendance is up, though half the fans nap in child’s pose by the third inning. Tabloids bent over backwards. The Post headlined: “YOGA YANKS.” ...
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Joy Behar Suffers a “Marxian Stroke”

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Joy Behar Suffers a “Marxian Stroke” Live on The View, Doctors Confirm Medical Breakthrough or Political Meltdown? 212 Straight TRUMP Wins Cause Joy Behar to Stroke Out! Joy Behar, beloved daytime host and part-time political commentator, shocked audiences when she appeared to suffer what experts now diagnose as a “Marxian Stroke” live on The View . This newly classified medical phenomenon, coined in 2008, is reportedly caused by years of pent-up hope for a glorious Marxist utopia—followed by the crushing reality that not even Obama went all-in on full communism. One expert explained, “It starts with optimism—single-payer healthcare dreams, nationalized pudding factories—then, after years of political disappointments, the brain just snaps.” Dr. Felix Redhammer, head of the Marxist Studies and Neurological Collapse Center , clarified the condition: “The patient shows signs of ideological dissonance, uncontrollable word salad, and, most importantly, repeating statements from ...
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Times Square Naked Cowboy Starts OnlyFans

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Yeehaw paywall According to reports , Times Square’s Naked Cowboy has launched an OnlyFans , promising “more strum for your thumb.” The longtime tourist attraction is now selling exclusive videos of country songs, laundry tips for tighty-whities, and fitness routines involving nothing but boots and a smile. Tourists are shocked yet intrigued. “I came for a photo, stayed for the subscription,” said one midwestern mom. Locals joke that it’s “the first time Times Square content is worth paying for.” A rival street performer, the Naked Violinist, has accused him of “string-based brand theft.” TikTok’s #BootyBallad trend strummed: duets with the cowboy’s songs, pranksters busking in diapers, and one viral dance where commuters strummed MetroCards like guitars. A grandma’s reaction video—”Lord forgive me, but I subscribed”—hit 12 million views. Tabloids picked. The Post belted: “NAKED PAYDAY.” The Daily News countered: “YEEHAW CASH COW.” Mayor Adams shrugged: “If it keeps tourists dis...
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Your Romantic Downfall This Valentine’s Day

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9 Terrible Pieces of Advice to Guarantee Your Romantic Downfall This Valentine’s Day The Secret to Love? 1. Set Unrealistically High Expectations True love means everything has to be perfect . The dinner must be Michelin-star quality, the gift must include rare jewels, and your romantic playlist should make Shakespeare weep. If it’s anything less, it’s clearly a failure. Remember: romance is about creating a completely unattainable standard that no one, not even Cupid, could meet. 2. Communicate Exclusively Through Cryptic Texts Why use clear communication when emojis and passive-aggressive silence work just fine? Want to tell your partner you love them? Send a string of 47 heart-eye emojis and a mysterious “We need to talk.” Ambiguity keeps relationships spicy… or utterly confusing. 3. Surprise Your Partner with a Life-Altering Decision Valentine’s Day is the perfect time to reveal something huge—like quitting your job to become a mime or adopting 17 ferrets. Nothing s...
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NYC Bagel Shops Launch Loyalty Program With Cream Cheese Tattoos

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Spread the love According to reports , bagel shops across the city have launched a loyalty program where customers get free bagels for life if they tattoo cream cheese on their bodies. The “Spread the Love” initiative has already attracted thousands of hungry fans willing to ink schmear on arms, legs, and questionable places. One Williamsburg man proudly showed off his everything bagel sleeve tattoo, while another Upper West Sider regretted a poorly drawn scallion cream cheese tramp stamp. Tattoo parlors are booked out, offering deals like “lox included” and “get your twelfth schmear free.” TikTok’s #BagelTattoo trend is spreading: influencers getting micro-bagels on their wrists, pranksters tattooing plain toast, and one man regretting a full back piece of “low-fat whipped.” A viral clip showed a grandma getting a sesame bagel tattoo, declaring, “This is for the culture.” Tabloids ate it up. The Post smeared: “INK AND SPREAD.” The Daily News countered: “TATTOOED TASTEBUDS.” May...
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Every Star Trek Episode Ever

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Everything That Happens in Every Star Trek Episode Ever Where No Plot Has Gone Before, But Always Ends Up Again “Captain Kirk dated more aliens than anyone on Tinder, and he didn’t even have Wi-Fi.” — Amy Schumer The Captain’s Log: AKA the Space Diary Every episode of Star Trek kicks off with the most dramatic diary entry in the universe. The captain begins his personal TED Talk to nobody in particular, talking to a computer with more charisma than your average politician. Captain’s Log, Stardate 2356.6: We’re boldly going to a planet that suspiciously looks like a Hollywood backlot. Why? Because it builds tension, and who doesn’t want to start their day with the anxiety-inducing voice of a man who’s seen some stuff? The Away Team – A Lesson in Casual Redshirt Fatality When the away team suits up, you can immediately tell who’s coming back alive. Spoiler: it’s not the guy in the red shirt. He might as well be wearing a bullseye. Captain, we’ve detected a hostile life form!...
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