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Every Star Trek Episode Ever

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Everything That Happens in Every Star Trek Episode Ever Where No Plot Has Gone Before, But Always Ends Up Again “Captain Kirk dated more aliens than anyone on Tinder, and he didn’t even have Wi-Fi.” — Amy Schumer The Captain’s Log: AKA the Space Diary Every episode of Star Trek kicks off with the most dramatic diary entry in the universe. The captain begins his personal TED Talk to nobody in particular, talking to a computer with more charisma than your average politician. Captain’s Log, Stardate 2356.6: We’re boldly going to a planet that suspiciously looks like a Hollywood backlot. Why? Because it builds tension, and who doesn’t want to start their day with the anxiety-inducing voice of a man who’s seen some stuff? The Away Team – A Lesson in Casual Redshirt Fatality When the away team suits up, you can immediately tell who’s coming back alive. Spoiler: it’s not the guy in the red shirt. He might as well be wearing a bullseye. Captain, we’ve detected a hostile life form!...
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Coney Island Ferris Wheel Converted Into Airbnb

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Spin and stay According to reports , Coney Island’s iconic Ferris wheel has been converted into a 24-room Airbnb. Guests can now rent gondolas by the night, spinning gently while listening to the soothing screams of rollercoaster riders. Each “room” comes with a sleeping bag, carnival snacks, and a warning that the bathroom is 100 feet below. Tourists love it. “It’s like camping, but with more seagulls and funnel cake grease,” said one guest. Couples book the top gondola for romantic sunsets, though one proposal was interrupted by a child throwing cotton candy. Locals worry about noise, particularly after guests tried grilling kebabs mid-ride. TikTok’s #FerrisAirbnb trend is spinning: clips of influencers decorating gondolas like boho lofts, pranksters rocking cars to spill drinks, and one man livestreaming a 12-hour nap while circling endlessly. Reviews vary: “Best sleep of my life” versus “Woke up with a churro in my hair.” Tabloids revolved. The Post shouted: “LOOP AND LODGE.”...
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Trump says he won’t deport Prince Harry

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U.S. President Donald Trump said he wouldn’t deport Prince Harry , while insulting the prince’s wife, Meghan Markle , in the same breath over the weekend. “I don’t want to do that,” said Trump, referring to kicking the royal out of the country, while speaking to  the New York Post . “I’ll leave him alone. He’s got enough problems with his wife. She’s terrible.” “Harry’s response was so polite, Trump probably didn’t even realize he got roasted.” – Seth Meyers Whole Britain Laughs as Trump Calls Meghan Markle ‘Terrible’: A Satirical Take on the Royal Roast When Donald Trump decided to wade into the British monarchy debate, calling Meghan Markle “terrible” and Prince Harry “weak,” Britain collectively spit out its tea, doubled over in laughter, and sent Piers Morgan into a media frenzy that could only be described as the journalist equivalent of Christmas morning. It was the kind of moment where satire writes itself—or, at the very least, politely curtsies before doing so. ...
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NYC Taxi Drivers Offer Stand-Up Comedy

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Yellow cab chuckles According to reports , NYC taxi drivers are now required to perform stand-up comedy during rides. The Taxi & Limousine Commission believes laughter will ease traffic stress and justify surge fares. “We’re blending transportation with entertainment,” said a TLC spokesperson holding a mic at rush hour. Passengers have mixed reviews. Some laugh at jokes like “What’s slower than Midtown traffic? My cousin’s dial-up!” Others groan when drivers test out tight-five routines about potholes. Tourists tip extra if they get a cabbie who can impersonate Mayor Adams or recite Seinfeld bits. Locals are less amused, begging drivers: “Just drive, no punchlines.” TikTok’s #TaxiComedy trend is honking: viral clips of drivers roasting passengers, cab karaoke battles, and one cabbie bombing so hard a rider jumped out mid-FDR. Yelp reviews now rank cabs by punchlines instead of cleanliness. Lyft is reportedly testing “knock-knock discounts.” Tabloids howled. The Post joked: “ST...
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Stomach Virus Interrupts Super Bowl Halftime Show

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Stomach Virus Interrupts Super Bowl Halftime Show After Stadium Turns Into a 78,000-Seat Shake Weight for the Digestive System Observations From the Splash Zone - A Super Bowl crowd will chant "DEFENSE" while their own body is yelling "EVACUATE" and somehow both feel patriotic. - Nothing brings Americans together like synchronized projectile vomiting, especially when it lands in the nacho tray of a guy who paid $1,800 for "premium seating." - When the  NFL  says "This is a family event," it turns out the family is the one that gathers around a bathroom door whispering, "You okay in there, buddy?" - Every stadium has a "home field advantage." This year it was  norovirus , and it covered the spread. - Beer is the only product in America that can be accused of causing vomiting and still get defended like a constitutional right—usually by the same people who say "I know my limits" while ordering their seventh r...
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Gaza: Peace or Punchline?

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Trump Proposes a Beachfront Solution for Gaza: Peace or Punchline? In his latest foray into international diplomacy , former President Donald Trump suggested a groundbreaking solution to the long-standing conflict in Gaza—turn it into a luxury Mediterranean resort. While traditional diplomats focus on ceasefires and humanitarian aid, Trump’s approach sounds more like an episode of Extreme Makeover: Geopolitical Edition . Is this a bold new idea for peace or just another of Trump’s signature troll moves? Either way, it’s vintage Trump . Terrorists, Cultural Marxists, and a Real Estate Mogul Walk into a Bar Critics were quick to slam the idea as ridiculous, but Trump’s loyal supporters saw a deeper layer of trolling brilliance. The former president isn’t just talking to international diplomats; he’s also taking a jab at cultural Marxists in the U.S. who often back resistance movements without fully understanding the consequences. Turning Gaza into a “Middle Eastern Riviera” feels ...
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