Wall Street Bankers Take Lunch Break Yoga

Downward Dog in pinstripes

According to reports, Wall Street has traded stocks for stretches as bankers in pinstripes flood Zuccotti Park every lunch hour for mass yoga sessions. “It’s about centering your portfolio and your chakras,” said one hedge fund manager while wobbling through Warrior II.

The program promises to lower blood pressure while raising bonuses. Banks even provide branded yoga mats shaped like $100 bills. Traders say the deep breathing helps them recover from morning meltdowns, though some admit they scream “SELL!” in the middle of downward dog.

Reactions vary. “I got trampled by an investment banker doing hot yoga in the park,” said one pedestrian. Tourists found it entertaining: “It’s like the stock market, but sweatier.”

Tabloids bent over backwards. “BROKER-NAMASTE” screamed the Post. The Daily News countered: “YOGA BE KIDDING ME.” TikTok’s #WallStreetYoga trend exploded with bankers balancing frappuccinos on their heads mid-pose.

Mayor Adams praised the initiative, calling it “a merger of wellness and capitalism.” Governor Hochul suggested making yoga mandatory for subway riders, though she admitted “pigeon pose on the F train could get dicey.”

For now, Wall Street remains volatile, but at least flexible.

SOURCE: https://bohiney.com/wall-street-bankers-take-lunch-break-yoga/

SOURCE: https://bohiney.com/wall-street-bankers-take-lunch-break-yoga/.

By: Annika Steinmann.

Annika Steinmann, journalist at bohiney.com -- Wall Street Bankers Take Lunch Break Yoga
Annika Steinmann, journalist.

The post Wall Street Bankers Take Lunch Break Yoga appeared first on SpinTaxi Magazine.



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