Elon Musk to Germany: “Get Over It”

Elon Musk to Germany: “Get Over It” – Germans Politely Decline

Tech Billionaire Takes Break From Twitter Wars to Lecture a Whole Nation

By C.R. ‘Loose Lips’ Leake (bohiney.com – Certified 127% Funnier Than The Onion)

BERLIN – In a move as unexpected as a Tesla Cybertruck’s “unbreakable” window shattering, Elon Musk took the stage at a rally for Germany’s far-right Alternative für Deutschland (AfD) party and, in his usual subtle manner, told an entire nation to “get over” its past guilt. Germans, known for their easygoing approach to history, immediately nodded and moved on.

Just kidding—Germany collectively short-circuited like a Tesla running Windows 95.

“Elon Musk told Germany to stop feeling guilty. In return, Germany told Elon to stop trying to be funny. Both requests were ignored.” — John Oliver

Musk’s Greatest PR Blunder Since Naming His Kid X Æ A-12

Musk, who has previously spent more time thinking about tunnels and Martian colonies than geopolitical sensitivity, shocked Germany by wading into its touchiest subject with all the grace of a malfunctioning Roomba.

“Listen, I love Germany. Great engineering. Best cars. Fantastic bratwurst,” Musk began, before steamrolling into his main point. “But you guys gotta stop with the guilt thing. It’s been, what, 80 years? Move on! Focus on the future, like space, AI, and maybe bringing Twitter back to its former glory.”

For some reason, this did not go over well.

“I mean, how long can you feel bad about something?” Musk continued, presumably while being dragged offstage by panicked Tesla PR interns.

AfD Cheering, Germany Screaming

For the far-right AfD crowd, Musk’s speech was met with wild applause. Finally, someone who understands their struggle—the burden of constantly being reminded that history exists.

“This man gets it!” shouted one attendee wearing an ill-advised Prussian helmet. “Why should we keep apologizing? That was like three generations ago! Just like how I should stop apologizing for running over my neighbor’s fence last year.”

Unfortunately for Musk, the rest of Germany was less enthused. Political leaders, historians, and literally anyone who’s read a history book in the last 80 years were quick to express their, uh, concerns.

“I never thought I’d see the day when Elon Musk managed to unite all Germans,” said one political analyst. “Unfortunately, it’s in their shared desire to throw him out of the country.”

Germany: “Danke, But No Danke”

German Chancellor Olaf Scholz responded with the same energy as a dad realizing his kid just crashed the family Audi. “We appreciate Mr. Musk’s enthusiasm,” he sighed, visibly aging five years mid-sentence, “but historical accountability is not like an expired parking meter. You don’t just let it run out and say, ‘Oh well, time to move on.’”

Even Angela Merkel, who has spent retirement peacefully gardening and avoiding drama, was reportedly seen muttering, “This guy? Really?” before aggressively pruning a hydrangea bush.

Meanwhile, Tesla’s German factory workers, already fuming over labor conditions, saw this as the final straw. “First, he makes us work 16-hour shifts building cars nobody can afford. Now, he’s telling our grandparents to ‘just chill’ about the whole war thing?”

In a truly historical event, Berliners protested without even forming a techno parade first.

Twitter: The Real War Zone

Back on his home turf—Twitter—Musk doubled down on his remarks, as is tradition.

“Woke mind virus alert! Germans mad at me for stating facts,” he tweeted, before challenging historians to a “fact-check cage match.”

The internet, as always, was ready:

“Elon telling Germany to ‘get over it’ is like telling the Titanic to ‘just swim.’”
“Bro thinks you can reset historical trauma like a Tesla touchscreen.”
“Elon’s PR team must have a higher turnover rate than Twitter employees.”

Even fellow billionaire Jeff Bezos took a break from his yacht-building to chime in: “Bold move, Elon. Can’t wait to see the sales report from Tesla Berlin next quarter.”

Germans Respond The Only Way They Know How

In a deeply German reaction, local bakeries announced a new pastry: the Elonbrötchen, a croissant stuffed with questionable ideas and served with a side of historical reality.

Munich beer halls began offering a Muskbier, which, much like its namesake, claims to be revolutionary but just tastes like every other overpriced lager.

And in a final act of polite but firm rejection, Berlin erected a new sign outside Brandenburg Gate:

“Dear Elon, history is not a software update. You don’t just patch it and move on.”

What’s Next for Musk?

While Germany grapples with its unexpected role in a Musk Twitter storm, insiders say the billionaire is already looking toward his next big controversy.

Rumors suggest Musk may soon:

Give a motivational speech in Poland about “letting bygones be bygones.”
Propose a Tesla factory in North Korea, calling it an “untapped market.”
Try to buy the Vatican, citing “strong IP potential.”

In the meantime, Germans will do what they do best: meticulously document everything and never forget.

Elon, best of luck at your next rally—may we suggest Antarctica?

Bohiney.com - 36 - A illustration of a group of Germans standing in front of the Brandenburg Gate, reacting with a mix of disbelief and sarcastic amusement as -- Alan Nafzger — Bohiney.com – 36 – A illustration of a group of Germans standing in front of the Brandenburg Gate, reacting with a mix of disbelief and sarcastic amusement as — Alan Nafzger

10 Observations About Musk’s German Guilt Speech

Elon Musk telling Germans to “get over it” is like telling an Italian grandmother to stop cooking pasta. It’s not just history—it’s culture, tradition, and a fundamental part of their national identity.
Musk spent years perfecting self-driving cars, yet somehow, he can’t steer clear of controversy. Maybe it’s time for a firmware update on his common sense.
Germany has spent decades meticulously working through its history, while Musk expects them to delete it like a bad tweet. Unfortunately, history doesn’t have an “Undo” button, Elon.
The AfD cheering for Musk is like a climate change conference giving an award to an oil executive. Sure, it makes sense in a twisted way, but should we really be celebrating?
Nothing says “I understand Germany” like an American billionaire lecturing them about their own past. Next up: Musk explains tea to the British and salsa to Mexicans.
Musk’s speech could have been a great Tesla ad—because it crashed, burned, and left everyone in stunned silence.
Telling Germans to “move on” is bold coming from a guy who still gets defensive about people making fun of the Cybertruck.
If Musk wanted to make history disappear, he should’ve just invested in the AI that removes embarrassing tweets.
Germany holds itself accountable for history better than Musk does for his failed rockets. At least when Germans crash, they acknowledge it happened.
Elon saying “get over it” at an AfD rally is like someone showing up to Thanksgiving dinner and telling Grandma to forget Grandpa ever existed. Good luck getting invited back.

Bohiney.com - 14.27.48 - A illustration of a group of Germans in a corporate boardroom watching a billionaire tech mogul on a giant screen, delivering a speech about-- Alan Nafzger — Bohiney.com – 14.27.48 – A illustration of a group of Germans in a corporate boardroom watching a billionaire tech mogul on a giant screen, delivering a speech about– Alan Nafzger

5 Comedian Liner About Musk and Germany

“Musk giving a history lesson to Germany is like a Roomba explaining home security.” — Trevor Noah
“Telling Germans to ‘move on’ is rich coming from a guy who still tweets about Twitter’s old logo.” — Jimmy Kimmel
“Musk should try apologizing for Tesla recalls before lecturing Germany on history.” — Seth Meyers
“I love how Musk wants Germany to ‘move on’ while he’s still trying to convince us that the Cybertruck is a good idea.” — Stephen Colbert