Princess Diana Diagnosed “a Princess”
Princess Diana Retroactively Diagnosed With Rare Condition Known as “Being a Princess”


Earl Spencer suggests Diana may have had undiagnosed ADHD and dyslexia, prompting Britain to reconsider whether every royal personality trait actually requires its own medical billing code


InStyle reports that Earl Charles Spencer believes his sister, Princess Diana, may have had undiagnosed ADHD and dyslexia, drawing partly on his own later ADHD diagnosis and similarities he says he recognized in Diana. Crucially, Diana herself was never diagnosed with ADHD, so Spencer’s view remains retrospective speculation rather than a clinical finding — less a diagnosis, more a hindsight-cast horoscope with a royal warrant.


Palace Researchers Discover Princess May Occasionally Have Behaved Like Princess


LONDON — Britain’s thirty-year investigation into Princess Diana has entered its most ambitious phase yet: diagnosing a woman who died in 1997.

Earl Spencer has suggested his sister suffered from undiagnosed ADHD and dyslexia, citing childhood school reports noting problems with concentration and restlessness. Those characteristics can indeed be associated with ADHD, according to the NHS. But an ADHD diagnosis ordinarily involves a specialist assessment examining persistent symptoms, childhood history and effects across different areas of life. Diana obviously cannot undergo such an assessment now — the Royal College of Psychiatrists does not, as yet, offer posthumous consultations.

This has left Britain facing the terrifying possibility that Diana may have been neurodivergent, emotionally complicated, occasionally demanding and a princess simultaneously.

Doctors immediately ordered additional tea.

For years, Diana’s admirers described her as compassionate and emotionally intuitive. Critics sometimes described her as temperamental, difficult or manipulative. Tabloids alternated between these interpretations depending largely upon whether it was Tuesday.

Now comes a new possibility.

Perhaps some traits previously interpreted as personality reflected neurological differences.

Also, perhaps being Princess of Wales was stressful.

It is technically possible for two things to happen at once, although this discovery has not yet reached Westminster.


Scientists Introduce Revolutionary Theory Called “People Are Complicated”

Modern public discussion has developed an impressive ability to translate ordinary descriptions into increasingly elaborate diagnostic vocabulary.

You are no longer disorganized.

You have executive-function challenges.

You aren’t furious because Gerald forgot your birthday.

You are experiencing rejection sensitivity.

You didn’t throw a bread roll because somebody insulted your hat.

You experienced an emotionally dysregulated carbohydrate event.

Diana’s case presents an especially tempting target because almost every moment of her adult life was photographed, recorded, analyzed, rewritten, dramatized, monetized and eventually turned into prestige television.

There are tribes in the Amazon with more privacy than Princess Diana had entering Harrods.

Spencer also discussed rejection sensitive dysphoria, or RSD. Cleveland Clinic notes that RSD is used to describe intense emotional pain associated with rejection, often discussed in connection with ADHD, but it is not an officially recognized medical diagnosis and research remains limited.

That nuance is important.

Because otherwise every uncomfortable royal dinner could become a diagnostic symposium.

“You didn’t invite me to Balmoral.”

“Rejection sensitivity.”

“You told every newspaper I was unstable.”

“Emotional dysregulation.”

“You’re sleeping with somebody else.”

“Have you considered mindfulness?”

At some point even Freud would climb out a bathroom window — and ask a footman to catch him.


Doctors Unable to Determine Normal Amount of Arrogance for Woman Called “Your Royal Highness”


Then there is the problem of studying arrogance among royalty.

What is the baseline?

Imagine designing the experiment.

Researchers assemble 500 ordinary Britons and one princess.

The ordinary participants enter Greggs and order sausage rolls.

Diana arrives and everyone stands up.

The ordinary participants catch a bus.

Diana’s vehicle has police motorcycles.

The ordinary participants receive birthday cards from Aunt Margaret.

Diana receives correspondence addressed:

HER ROYAL HIGHNESS THE PRINCESS OF WALES.

Researchers then announce:

“We have detected elevated levels of entitlement.”

Really?

Next week scientists will discover Australians displaying unusual familiarity with kangaroos.

Royalty is essentially an eight-century sociological experiment asking what happens when everyone around one family bows. You could call it a controlled study, except nothing about the House of Windsor has ever been especially controlled.

The surprising result would be humility.

If a Windsor ever walked into Buckingham Palace, cleaned the bathroom and said, “Don’t worry, I’ve got this,” MI5 would tackle him.


“Demanding” May Require Context


Diana could reportedly be emotionally intense and demanding in personal relationships, according to many accounts published over the decades.

That does not establish ADHD.

It also doesn’t establish villainy.

It establishes that interpersonal relationships involving international celebrity, divorce, royalty and dozens of photographers tend not to resemble a quiet Wednesday evening at Costco.

Consider the environment.

Your marriage collapses internationally.

Your romantic life becomes front-page news.

Photographers follow you.

Strangers analyze your clothing.

Courtiers discuss you.

Biographers interview your former acquaintances.

Then, thirty years later, strangers on television announce they have finally figured out why you reacted badly.

At that point even the dead deserve noise-cancelling headphones.


The Royal Family Discovers Psychology Approximately 104 Years After Freud


There is something gloriously British about applying modern psychiatric terminology retrospectively to aristocrats.

Britain spent centuries explaining unusual upper-class behavior with phrases such as:

“high spirited,”

“eccentric,”

“rather difficult,”

“sensitive constitution,”

and the devastating:

“not quite the thing.”

A duke could spend six months communicating exclusively with a pheasant and the family would announce he was “resting.”

Now we have acronyms.

Progress!

Soon historians can revisit the entire monarchy — a sort of DSM for the House of Windsor.

Henry VIII wasn’t tyrannical. He suffered from Marital Completion Deficit Disorder.

Richard III had Parking Anxiety, presumably aggravated by Leicester.

Queen Victoria experienced Persistent Unamused Expression Syndrome.

Edward VIII suffered from Compulsive Abdication in the Presence of Americans.

Prince Andrew apparently has Inability to Recognize a Television Interview Should Have Ended Twenty Minutes Ago Syndrome.

Medical journals will need thicker paper.


The Most Dangerous Phrase in Biography: “This Explains Everything”


The temptation with retrospective diagnosis is that it converts messy lives into tidy narratives.

Suddenly one label explains schooling.

Relationships.

Mood.

Conflict.

Impulsiveness.

Rejection.

Career choices.

Even why someone once stormed out of dinner in 1989.

Human beings love a master key.

Unfortunately, people are less like locks and more like kitchen drawers containing six batteries, three screws, foreign currency and a charger nobody recognizes.

ADHD may help explain some behavior in people who actually have ADHD, a distinction the CHADD national resource center spends considerable effort clarifying for exactly this reason.

But it does not automatically transform every decision into a symptom.

People with ADHD can also be generous.

Petty.

Brilliant.

Annoying.

Patient.

Impatient.

Wrong.

Right.

And occasionally unwilling to attend something because the canapé selection is dreadful.

That last condition is currently known as being British.


School Reports Enter the Witness Box


Spencer’s argument does have some historical material behind it.

The Independent reports that Diana’s school reports mentioned lack of concentration and restlessness, which Spencer interprets as evidence consistent with ADHD.

That makes his hypothesis more substantial than merely declaring, “She once misplaced her handbag.”

Still, millions of school reports contain phrases such as:

“Could concentrate more.”

“Distracts others.”

“Needs to apply herself.”

“Talks during lessons.”

If all those children had automatically qualified for neurological diagnoses, half of Britain would have spent the 1970s on a waiting list, and the other half would still be on it.

The NHS itself cautions that distraction, impulsivity and high energy can occur for many reasons and do not by themselves mean a child has ADHD.

Which introduces an extraordinary concept into celebrity journalism:

Maybe.

Editors dislike “maybe.”

“Maybe” cannot wear a ball gown across a homepage.


Diana Diagnosed With Being Diana


The most sensible conclusion may therefore be the least marketable.

Diana might have had ADHD.

She might have had dyslexia.

Some historical evidence may be compatible with those possibilities.

Her brother, who knows both his sister and his own ADHD experience better than outsiders do, believes the connection is meaningful.

But nobody can conduct the clinical evaluation now.

And even if Diana somehow emerged from a time machine carrying a signed diagnosis, it would not mean every argument, romance, feud, impulsive decision or imperious moment suddenly belonged to ADHD.

Sometimes a princess behaves like a princess.

Sometimes a celebrity behaves like a celebrity.

Sometimes somebody gets irritated because rejection hurts.

And sometimes a person is demanding because she has spent fifteen years having people say:

“Certainly, Your Royal Highness.”

Eventually you begin to suspect the universe has a customer-service department, and Diana had status high enough to skip the hold music entirely.


Britain Announces Further Tests


Researchers are reportedly moving next to the greatest unresolved psychological mystery in British history:

Why does everyone become unbearable approximately six months after acquiring a podcast?

Preliminary evidence indicates genetics, environmental factors and access to a microphone.

Scientists have also identified a related syndrome affecting royal biographers known as Posthumous Diagnostic Certainty Disorder, characterized by examining 40-year-old anecdotes and announcing:

“Well, obviously.”

Treatment consists of saying “we don’t know” three times while looking into a mirror.

No journalist has yet completed treatment.


15 Humorous Observations Before Britain Diagnoses the Furniture

- Diana may have had ADHD, although for several decades Britain diagnosed the symptoms as “princess.”


- She reportedly disliked criticism. Until recently, historians believed this was caused by the obscure neurological condition known as being criticized by every newspaper on Earth before breakfast.


- Apparently Diana could “turn on a pin.” Most princesses cannot. Their dresses require a turning radius comparable to a municipal bus.


- Being demanding inside Kensington Palace hardly proves anything. If you live in a building where somebody irons the newspaper, asking for another pillow is practically manual labor.


- Future historians may diagnose Henry VIII with Extreme Spousal Turnover Disorder.


- Royal arrogance is difficult to diagnose because the control group consists of people who have never had soldiers salute while they went shopping.


- If impatience is evidence of ADHD, London has unknowingly been operating the world’s largest psychiatric experiment since somebody invented the queue.


- Diana’s sensitivity to rejection may have been neurological. It also may have been intensified by having rejection discussed by 400 photographers hiding behind hydrangeas.


- Retrospective diagnosis is wonderful because the patient can never interrupt the documentary and say, “Actually, that’s nonsense.”


- Britain spent thirty years asking whether Diana was saintly, manipulative, vulnerable, calculating, romantic, rebellious or misunderstood. Apparently somebody finally noticed there was still space on the bookshelf.


- Dyslexia would explain difficulty with written information. It would not automatically explain being annoyed when your husband was romantically interested elsewhere. Medical science calls that having eyes.


- Once every historical personality trait becomes a diagnosis, Napoleon will have Short Emperor Syndrome, Churchill will have Chronic Cigar Dependence, and George III will qualify for twelve podcasts.


- The aristocracy has discovered neurodivergence. This is progress. Previously unusual behavior among aristocrats was simply called Wednesday.


- Diana lived amid servants, photographers, security officers, courtiers, journalists and royal protocol. Anyone emerging from that environment completely relaxed should probably be studied instead.


- The real breakthrough may be discovering that human beings can possess neurological differences and occasionally be difficult. Medical terminology has not abolished the possibility that somebody can have ADHD and still be a pain before lunch.

Disclaimer: This story is satire. Earl Spencer has publicly expressed his belief that Diana may have had undiagnosed ADHD and dyslexia, but Princess Diana was never clinically diagnosed with ADHD during her lifetime. Nothing here should be interpreted as a medical assessment of her or of people living with ADHD, dyslexia or other neurodevelopmental differences.

This story is entirely a human collaboration between two sentient beings: the world’s oldest tenured professor and a philosophy major turned dairy farmer, neither of whom is currently licensed to diagnose a princess, a duke, a corgi or anyone who owns more than three tiaras.


Sources

- InStyle: Charles Spencer on Diana and possible undiagnosed ADHD and dyslexia


- NHS guidance on ADHD symptoms and assessment


- Cleveland Clinic explanation of rejection sensitive dysphoria


- CHADD: overview of ADHD https://prat.uk/princess-diana-diagnosed-a-princess/

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