Trump says he won’t deport Prince Harry
“I don’t want to do that,” said Trump, referring to kicking the royal out of the country, while speaking to the New York Post. “I’ll leave him alone. He’s got enough problems with his wife. She’s terrible.”
“Harry’s response was so polite, Trump probably didn’t even realize he got roasted.” – Seth Meyers
Whole Britain Laughs as Trump Calls Meghan Markle ‘Terrible’: A Satirical Take on the Royal Roast
When Donald Trump decided to wade into the British monarchy debate, calling Meghan Markle “terrible” and Prince Harry “weak,” Britain collectively spit out its tea, doubled over in laughter, and sent Piers Morgan into a media frenzy that could only be described as the journalist equivalent of Christmas morning. It was the kind of moment where satire writes itself—or, at the very least, politely curtsies before doing so.
The British Reaction: A Nation United in Chuckles
Forget Brexit or fuel prices—Britons were finally united on something. “We haven’t laughed this hard since Boris Johnson tried to comb his hair,” remarked one British commentator. And truly, when a former U.S. president decides to sling verbal grenades at British royalty, how could the UK resist?
In the pubs across London, you could hear the chatter:
“Trump called Meghan terrible? Blimey, is he trying to join the cast of EastEnders with that level of drama?”
It was as if Christmas had come early, except instead of mince pies, they were feasting on transatlantic gossip.
Trump vs. Markle: The Reality Show We Never Knew We Needed
This wasn’t just a comment—it was a prime-time soap opera waiting to happen. In one corner, we have Meghan Markle, former actress, podcaster, and all-around polarizing figure. In the other, Donald Trump, a man who turned politics into reality television and still refers to himself in the third person like a retired WWE star.
If this turns into a reality show, it’ll have a title like “The Terrible and the Trumped-up: Royal Rumble Edition.” Contestants will debate serious issues like whose Instagram followers are more loyal and which one knows how to properly curtsy before Queen Camilla. Spoiler alert: Neither wins.
Prince Harry: Between a Rock and a Roast
Caught in the middle of all this is Prince Harry, who now has to play referee in this bizarre celebrity-royalty-political mashup. After Trump’s jab, Harry reportedly mentioned something about “weak moral character” at the Invictus Games—a comment some believe was a subtle clapback at Trump. Others think it was just Harry misquoting something he heard on a Netflix true-crime documentary.
British tabloids immediately spun this into front-page news. Harry Slams Trump? Royal Feud Escalates! they screamed, conveniently leaving out the part where Harry might have been talking about his neighbor’s annoying Labradoodle.
The British Media Circus: Popcorn Not Included
The UK press, known for its restraint (pause for laughter), immediately saw this as a golden goose with a tiara. Pundits and royal experts who hadn’t been this excited since Meghan wore the wrong hat at a garden party crawled out of their Victorian-era armchairs to weigh in.
“This is proof that Meghan is the Yoko Ono of the royal family,” one headline suggested, while another declared, “Trump’s Attack: Meghan Should Have Stayed in Suits.”
Talk shows buzzed with glee, and you could practically hear the BBC producer whispering, “Run the Markle footage again; we’ll hit record viewership tonight!”
Trump’s Ultimate Power Move: Joining the Crown?
What’s next for Trump? Given his flair for theatrics, he might just fly to London, declare himself the new royal media consultant, and insist that Buckingham Palace needs a gold makeover. Imagine it—a golden Big Ben with “TRUMP” scrawled in neon on the clock face. Westminster Abbey? Now a golf resort. The Tower of London? “Rebranded as The Tower of Winning,” Trump might say.
Public Opinion: A Comedy of Errors
Public opinion on this saga remains delightfully split. On Twitter, Americans were confused: “Wait, we’re roasting Meghan again? I thought we were done with that season.” Meanwhile, Brits were setting odds on which celebrity would weigh in next. The smart money was on Gordon Ramsay: “Meghan’s a disaster, Trump’s a nightmare, and this whole feud is undercooked!”
Even the usually stiff-upper-lipped royalists couldn’t resist poking fun. One Londoner quipped, “If we’re handing out ‘terrible’ awards, can we give one to whoever thought up Brexit too?”
Late-Night TV Gold
Late-night hosts in both countries salivated at the comedic buffet.
“Trump calling Meghan terrible is like a pot calling a kettle… you know, still totally inappropriate and weirdly obsessed with kettles,” joked Stephen Colbert.
Meanwhile, John Oliver declared, “This feud is like British Bake Off meets WrestleMania. Except no one wins, and the cakes are all insults.”
And who could forget Trevor Noah, who summed it up with: “If you listen closely, you can hear the Queen in heaven whispering, ‘Well, that escalated quickly.’”
The Future of Royal Scandals: An Endless Fountain of Satire
In the end, this feud isn’t going anywhere. In fact, it’s the gift that keeps on giving—like that distant aunt who always sends you socks for Christmas. Who knows what’s next? Maybe Trump will pen a tell-all book about his “royal connections” or claim he was invited to tea by King Charles (he wasn’t). Perhaps Meghan will release a single called “Terrible: The Remix,” featuring Snoop Dogg.
One thing’s certain: as long as Trump keeps commenting on the royals, we’ll have enough material for several seasons of political-royal satire. So grab your tea, settle in, and let the madness continue.
Disclaimer
This story is a result of pure human creativity—a collaboration between a 80-year-old muckety-muck with tenure and a 20-year-old philosophy-major-turned-dairy-farmer. No AI was harmed in the making of this satire. If you found yourself chuckling, blame the absurdity of modern media, not us.
15 Observations on Trump’s Meghan Markle Comments
- Trump calling someone “terrible” is like a cat accusing a dog of being too furry.
- Britain hasn’t laughed this hard since Boris Johnson tried to explain his party policies using a traffic cone.
- Meghan Markle might be “terrible,” but she’s still better than Trump’s Home Alone 2 cameo.
- Prince Harry’s clapback had more elegance than a Buckingham Palace tea party.
- British tabloids reacted faster to Trump’s comments than they did to actual royal news.
- If Trump and Meghan were on The Great British Bake Off, their dish would be “Burnt Bridges Soufflé.”
- Trump’s obsession with British royalty suggests he secretly wants a knighthood—Sir Donald of Florida.
- The Queen must be chuckling from beyond, sipping tea and saying, “Oh dear, not again.”
- Trump calling Harry “weak” is rich from someone who once claimed to be a “stable genius.”
- The feud could solve Brexit—just put Trump in charge of negotiating with the EU.
- If Meghan released a song titled “Terrible,” it’d hit No. 1 on the charts.
- The British press hasn’t had this much fun since they mispronounced “quinoa” on-air.
- Buckingham Palace may need a PR firm after this, preferably one specializing in reality TV damage control.
- British pubs reported record-high beer sales—coincidence? We think not.
- Americans are just relieved Trump found a new feud that isn’t with them.
7 Comedian One-Liners
- “Trump calling Meghan terrible? That’s like a Kardashian calling someone too into selfies.” – Trevor Noah
- “If Donald joins the royal family drama, at least the tabloids won’t run out of material until 2050.” – John Oliver
- “This is basically The Crown, but with a reality TV twist. Coming soon to Netflix!” – Stephen Colbert
- “Trump in the UK? He’d knight himself and rename it ‘The Great American Kingdom.'” – James Corden
- “If Trump and Meghan were on Jeopardy, the answer would always be ‘What is an awkward feud?'” – Jimmy Kimmel
- “This feud is like watching Downton Abbey meet The Apprentice. Pure chaos, but you can’t look away.” – Sarah Silverman
Originally posted 2025-02-11 15:16:54.
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