NYC Pigeons Form Union

Demand better bagel crumbs

According to reports, New York City pigeons have unionized, demanding higher-quality crumbs and hazard pay for dodging Citi Bikes. The newly formed “United Feathers Local 212” insists that bagel scraps must be sesame or everything, not “plain trash-tier.”

Union reps held a press conference atop a Herald Square statue, cooing demands through megaphones. They want minimum wage birdseed, guaranteed subway rafters, and free healthcare for wing sprains. One pigeon held a sign reading: “NO CRUMBS, NO PEACE.”

Tourists find it amusing; locals shrug. “About time they organized,” said a man feeding stale pretzels. Delivery apps already fear lawsuits from pigeons dive-bombing e-bikes. TikTok’s #PigeonUnion trend shows birds blocking hotdog carts and staging “fly-ins” on Wall Street statues. A viral clip shows a pigeon pooping on a Goldman Sachs exec mid-interview, captioned: “Redistribution of wealth.”

Tabloids flapped. The Post screeched: “BIRDS DEMAND DOUGH.” The Daily News countered: “UNION WING.”

Mayor Adams praised it as “democratic coo-llective action.” Governor Hochul muttered: “If Albany tries this, I’m banning breadcrumbs.”

SOURCE: https://bohiney.com/nyc-pigeons-form-union/

SOURCE: https://bohiney.com/nyc-pigeons-form-union/.

By: Annika Steinmann.

Annika Steinmann, journalist at bohiney.com -- NYC Pigeons Form Union
Annika Steinmann, journalist.

The post NYC Pigeons Form Union appeared first on SpinTaxi Magazine.



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