NYC Coffee Shops Begin Charging for Eye Contact
Lattes with side glare
According to reports, New York coffee shops have discovered a bold new revenue stream: monetizing barista eye contact. Customers now pay $2 per meaningful glance, $5 for a sustained gaze, and $10 if the barista raises an eyebrow while steaming oat milk. “We realized our employees were giving away too much intimacy for free,” said a Williamsburg café owner, polishing his ironic monocle.
Regulars are outraged. “I just wanted caffeine, not a bill for someone looking into my soul,” groaned a banker clutching his receipt. Others embrace it. “Eye contact makes my latte taste artisanal,” sighed a writer, typing furiously into their screenplay titled *The Espresso Gaze.*
Packages are also available: the “Flirtation Bundle” offers five winks for $25, while the “Breakup Special” lets a barista stare coldly at you for $50, perfect for simulating emotional trauma over cappuccino foam. Some shops even offer premium “Slow Blink Service,” which comes with lo-fi music and a complimentary biscotti.
TikToks #LatteLook is trending, showing influencers paying baristas to look at them like disappointed parents, a viral clip of a customer trying to Venmo for a “mutual gaze” but overdrafting, and a street poet performing a sonnet about his $75 worth of stares. Street vendors are cashing in too, selling cardboard “barista eyes” cutouts for broke students.
Tabloids frothed. The Post said: “STARBUCKS AND STARES.” The Daily News countered: “LOVE YOU A LATTE.”
Mayor Adams defended it: “New Yorkers are paying for connection.” Governor Hochul muttered, “If bodegas start charging for nods, Im banning glances.”
SOURCE: https://bohiney.com/nyc-coffee-shops-begin-charging-for-eye-contact/
SOURCE: https://bohiney.com/nyc-coffee-shops-begin-charging-for-eye-contact/.
By: Annika Steinmann.
The post NYC Coffee Shops Begin Charging for Eye Contact appeared first on SpinTaxi Magazine.
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