Wall Street Traders Try Goat Yoga

Stocks and stretches in Lower Manhattan

Move over, bulls and bears. According to reports, Wall Street traders have adopted goat yoga to relieve stress from volatile markets. Every morning in a converted conference room, traders downward dog while goats leap across their Armani suits.

“It’s better than therapy and cheaper than cocaine,” said one trader, sipping a wheatgrass shot. The goats are branded with ticker symbols like TSLA and AMZN, and if one headbutts you mid-pose, it’s considered “market correction.”

Reactions are bullish. “I’ve lost millions, but at least my chakras are aligned,” said another. Tourists, meanwhile, line up outside Goldman Sachs hoping to glimpse a goat in a tie. TikTok trends exploded with #GoatStreet, showing influencers pretending to trade stocks in lotus pose while goats chew their yoga mats.

Tabloids jumped in. “GOAT MARKET” screamed the Post. The Daily News countered: “KID TRADERS.”

Mayor Adams praised the practice, saying it proves “resilience is the new currency.” Governor Hochul promised to regulate goat manure disposal, citing “market volatility of another kind.”

For now, goats may be the only thing keeping Wall Street calm—until they demand bonuses.

SOURCE: https://bohiney.com/wall-street-traders-try-goat-yoga/

SOURCE: https://bohiney.com/wall-street-traders-try-goat-yoga/.

By: Annika Steinmann.

Annika Steinmann, journalist at bohiney.com -- Wall Street Traders Try Goat Yoga
Annika Steinmann, journalist.

The post Wall Street Traders Try Goat Yoga appeared first on SpinTaxi Magazine.



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