Staten Island Ferry Declares Independence

Now accepts MetroCards as passports

In a bold move no one asked for, reports confirm that the Staten Island Ferry has declared itself an independent nation, demanding MetroCards be presented as passports upon boarding. The ferry’s new anthem, a remixed foghorn, debuted at the secession ceremony where seagulls were sworn in as ministers of defense.

“We’ve always been more than a boat,” declared Captain Sal, now self-proclaimed Prime Minister. “We’re a sovereign nation that happens to commute twice an hour.” Staten Island leaders cheered, hoping this move would finally make tourists stop asking if they’re in New Jersey.

Passengers were shocked when customs agents—retired turnstile operators—stamped their MetroCards with expired ink pads. One commuter said, “I just wanted to get to work. Now I’ve accidentally immigrated.” The ferry nation now requires declarations of duty-free bagels and proof of residency via Dunkin’ Donuts receipts.

Tabloids jumped ship. “FERRY GOES ROGUE” shrieked the Post. The Daily News countered: “S.S. CHAOS.” Social media erupted with memes of ferries wearing tiny crowns, captioned “Queen Mary? Meet King Staten.” TikTok launched the trend #FerryPassport, where users role-play as border agents asking, “Sir, do you have anything to declare besides cream cheese?”

Mayor Adams tried to intervene but was denied entry after failing to produce a MetroCard with sufficient balance. Governor Hochul promised negotiations if the ferry stops charging extra for coffee. Meanwhile, Staten Island residents are divided: half are proud citizens of the Ferry Nation, while the other half are annoyed their commute now includes customs paperwork.

As one commuter summed it up: “It’s still free. But now it’s free with nationalism.”

SOURCE: https://bohiney.com/staten-island-ferry-declares-independence/

SOURCE: https://bohiney.com/staten-island-ferry-declares-independence/.

By: Annika Steinmann.

Annika Steinmann, journalist at bohiney.com -- Staten Island Ferry Declares Independence
Annika Steinmann, journalist.

The post Staten Island Ferry Declares Independence appeared first on SpinTaxi Magazine.



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