NYC Rats Win Mayoral Election

Cheese-based ballots counted

Democracy has gone squeaky. According to reports, New York City’s rat population has officially won the mayoral race after overwhelming voter turnout in subway tunnels and pizza parlors. Ballots were reportedly cheese-based, with gouda representing “yes” votes and Swiss symbolizing “no.”

“We’ve been running this city from the shadows for years,” declared Ratty McCheddar, the newly elected mayor, while nibbling on a podium cord. “Now it’s official.” His cabinet includes a sanitation rat for Public Works and three pigeons as Deputy Mayors of Midtown Litter.

Human voters were shocked, though some admitted it made sense. “They already own the subways,” sighed a Brooklyn commuter. Landlords, however, are furious. “You can’t evict rats—they breed faster than rent hikes,” said one in despair.

Tabloids squealed with joy. “THE RAT PACK TAKES CITY HALL” shrieked the Post. The Daily News countered: “PESTS TO POWER.” TikTokers launched #MayorRat, posting videos of rats in tiny suits signing executive cheese orders.

Mayor Adams graciously conceded, noting “the rats already outnumber us three-to-one.” Governor Hochul congratulated the new leadership but warned about “cheese inflation.” Wall Street analysts predict the rat-led economy will thrive in leftover pizza exports.

For now, New York adjusts to its furry overlords. As Ratty McCheddar declared: “We don’t just survive here—we thrive.”

SOURCE: https://bohiney.com/nyc-rats-win-mayoral-election/

SOURCE: https://bohiney.com/nyc-rats-win-mayoral-election/.

By: Annika Steinmann.

Annika Steinmann, journalist at bohiney.com -- NYC Rats Win Mayoral Election
Annika Steinmann, journalist.

The post NYC Rats Win Mayoral Election appeared first on SpinTaxi Magazine.



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