NYC Pigeons Demand Rent Control

Claim coops are overpriced

The city’s most infamous squatters—pigeons—are now demanding rent control. According to reports, thousands of feathered tenants marched (or waddled) on City Hall, cooing angrily about skyrocketing rooftop coop prices and “unlivable ledges.”

“We’ve been loyal to these brownstones for generations,” said Beaky, a union organizer wearing a Mets cap. “Now landlords want $3,000 a month for a rusty fire escape? Fuggedaboutit.”

Pigeons argue they provide services—crumb cleanup, mid-flight entertainment, and emotional support for lonely park benches. In return, they want rent stabilization, guaranteed access to hot pretzels, and bans on “spike strips, which are basically pigeon barbed wire.”

Tabloids went airborne. “BIRDS OF PREY” screeched the Post. The Daily News countered: “COOP D’ETAT.” Social media took flight with #PigeonRent trending, featuring users squatting on air conditioners in solidarity. TikTokers posted videos of themselves eating bagels and tossing crumbs as tribute.

Mayor Adams promised negotiations, claiming he “respects pigeon hustle” but warned about “guano inflation.” Governor Hochul suggested pigeons apply for Section 8 vouchers, though paperwork remains difficult without thumbs.

Critics say pigeon rent control would tank real estate markets, but some landlords admitted they’d rather deal with birds than human tenants. “At least pigeons don’t complain about radiator heat,” muttered one weary Brooklyn owner.

For now, the city skies remain tense, with pigeons threatening a poop strike during rush hour if demands aren’t met. As Beaky cooed ominously: “Pay us fair, or face the feathers.”

SOURCE: https://bohiney.com/nyc-pigeons-demand-rent-control/

SOURCE: https://bohiney.com/nyc-pigeons-demand-rent-control/.

By: Annika Steinmann.

Annika Steinmann, journalist at bohiney.com -- NYC Pigeons Demand Rent Control
Annika Steinmann, journalist.

The post NYC Pigeons Demand Rent Control appeared first on SpinTaxi Magazine.



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