Empire State Building Adds Slide

Observation deck too boring

The Empire State Building has decided that elevators just aren’t thrilling enough. According to reports, visitors can now descend from the 86th floor via a glass tube slide that spirals down the skyscraper’s exterior, offering “unparalleled views and unparalleled screaming.”

Tourists are ecstatic. “Best $200 I’ve ever spent! I blacked out halfway, but the photos are amazing,” said one visitor from Iowa. New Yorkers, however, groaned. “I just wanted to get to work, and now I have to dodge tourists shooting out of a skyscraper like bowling balls,” muttered a Midtown commuter.

Safety is allegedly a top priority—helmets and elbow pads are included, though some complain they clash with Instagram aesthetics. Lines for the slide stretch around the block, especially since influencers discovered screaming in slow-motion makes great TikTok content.

Tabloids went vertical. “SLIDE OR DIE” screamed the Post. The Daily News countered: “DOWNWARD SPIRAL.” Meanwhile, TikTok’s #EmpireSlide trend features tourists spinning out mid-air and then buying $40 gift shop snow globes.

Mayor Adams praised the innovation, calling it “peak synergy between real estate and roller coasters.” Governor Hochul said she would “consider similar slides for Albany, if only to get people to visit.”

For now, the Empire State Building remains not just a landmark, but a playground with vertigo.

SOURCE: https://bohiney.com/empire-state-building-adds-slide/

SOURCE: https://bohiney.com/empire-state-building-adds-slide/.

By: Annika Steinmann.

Annika Steinmann, journalist at bohiney.com -- Empire State Building Adds Slide
Annika Steinmann, journalist.

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