Broadway Actors Demand Bigger Stages

Refuse to perform on “shoebox theaters”

Broadway actors have always dreamed big, but now they want the stages to match. According to reports, the union is demanding theater expansions after years of performing on what they call “shoebox-sized stages unfit for dramatic death scenes.” Their slogan: “If we can’t faint with flair, don’t call it Broadway.”

The strike threat looms large. Musicals like *Cats 2: Hairball Rebellion* and *Hamilton: The Revenge Tour* may shut down unless theaters agree to double their square footage. “I can’t even swing a sword without decapitating a trombone player,” one actor complained. “It’s humiliating.”

Producers argue New York real estate leaves no room for bigger stages. “You want more square footage? Move to Jersey,” one snapped. But actors insist they’re serious. Their demands include wider wings, deeper trapdoors, and a minimum of 20 feet for dramatic pacing during monologues.

Tabloids leapt on the drama. “STAGE FRIGHT” shrieked the Post. The Daily News countered: “BIG DREAMS, SMALL STAGES.” Social media memes showed tiny shoeboxes labeled “Broadway theaters” with stick figures bursting out mid-ballad.

Tourists are confused. “I thought Broadway was already huge,” said a woman from Ohio. Locals shrugged. “Everything in New York is tiny,” said a Queens resident. “Except the rent.”

Mayor Adams tried to broker peace, suggesting Broadway actors rehearse on subway platforms, which are already full of musicians and acrobats. The idea was booed. Governor Hochul offered compromise funding—if she could cameo in *Wicked.*

For now, the curtain hangs in limbo. But one thing is certain: if Broadway actors don’t get bigger stages, they’ll make sure the audience hears their outrage—loud, on key, and projected all the way to Hoboken.

SOURCE: https://bohiney.com/broadway-actors-demand-bigger-stages/

SOURCE: https://bohiney.com/broadway-actors-demand-bigger-stages/.

By: Annika Steinmann.

Annika Steinmann, journalist at bohiney.com -- Broadway Actors Demand Bigger Stages
Annika Steinmann, journalist.

The post Broadway Actors Demand Bigger Stages appeared first on SpinTaxi Magazine.



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