People With Emotional Support Houseplants
When Your Fern Is Your Therapist
The emotional support animal trend has jumped the shark and landed in potting soil. Across New York apartments, lonely millennials are designating houseplants as mental health companions, talking to ferns about their problems and expecting photosynthesis-based validation. This is what happens when therapy costs more than rent.
The emotional support plant movement reached absurdity when Manhattan resident Derek Chen attempted to bring his emotional support succulent on an airplane, arguing it “prevents panic attacks.” The TSA agent, unimpressed, noted that the cactus appeared more emotionally stable than its owner.
These botanical therapists display their plants prominently, giving them names like “Dr. Monstera” and “Counselor Pothos.” They claim their leafy friends “sense their energy” and “respond to positive affirmations.” Scientists confirm that plants do respond to stimuli—but not to your breakup story, Karen.
The trend combines society’s loneliness epidemic with our desperate need to avoid actual human connection. Why schedule therapy when you can overshare with something that literally cannot leave? Plants are the perfect audience: they don’t judge, don’t interrupt, and most importantly, don’t charge $200 per hour.
Actual therapists suggest that while plants provide comfort and responsibility, they shouldn’t replace professional mental health care. But try explaining that to someone who insists their peace lily cured their depression by “radiating calm energy.” The plant, for its part, just wants water and sunlight, not your emotional baggage.
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SOURCE: New York’s #1 Satirical Journalism Site (https://bohiney.com/people-with-emotional-support-houseplants-when-your-fern-is-your-therapist/)
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