Mets Sign Emotional Support Rat for $10 Million Deal
Fans say rodent has more hustle than outfield
The New York Mets have shocked the baseball world once againno, not by winning, but by signing an **emotional support rat** to a $10 million contract. According to reports, the ratnicknamed “Cheddar”will serve as both morale booster and unofficial mascot. Fans, long accustomed to disappointment, say Cheddar is the first player who truly embodies the grit of Queens.
Team officials introduced Cheddar at Citi Field, holding him up like Simba from The Lion King while the crowd cheered. “This rat knows how to survive in subway tunnels, dodge pizza slices, and outlast exterminators,” said the general manager. “Frankly, thats more resilience than half our bullpen.”
Season ticket holders are thrilled. “Ive seen rats carry slices bigger than their bodies,” said one fan. “Thats the kind of hustle we need at second base.” The team store already sells Cheddar jerseys, complete with tiny chew holes for authenticity. Concession stands are offering “Rat Dogs”hot dogs topped with mystery cheese no one wants to identify.
Not everyone approves. Animal rights activists argue Cheddar is being exploited, while rival Yankees fans mocked the move. “Imagine paying $10 million for a rat,” one Bronx heckler said. “We get those for free in our bleachers.” Still, Mets fans clapped back: “At least our rat shows up. Unlike half your bullpen.”
Local media has embraced the chaos. Tabloids ran headlines like “Mets Bet on Vermin Victory” and “Subway Series Goes Full Subway.” Sports radio callers debated whether Cheddar could hit .250, while WFAN pundits insisted hed at least steal more bases than the current roster. The New York Post even speculated about Cheddars dating life, claiming hes been spotted near a Staten Island dumpster with “a mysterious lady possum.”
The move also fits a long NYC tradition of bizarre mascots. Weve got the Times Square Elmo mafia, the Naked Cowboy, and that one pigeon who refuses to leave Yankee Stadium. Adding a rat to the roster? Perfectly on brand. “If you can survive the 7 train, you can survive the NL East,” quipped one columnist.
In the end, Mets fans arent expecting championshipsthey just want entertainment. And nothing screams New York baseball like a rodent in pinstripes chewing through the payroll. Lets face it: Cheddar may be the most dependable player the Mets have signed in decades.
SOURCE: https://bohiney.com/mets-sign-emotional-support-rat/
SOURCE: https://bohiney.com/mets-sign-emotional-support-rat/.
By: Annika Steinmann.
The post Mets Sign Emotional Support Rat for $10 Million Deal appeared first on SpinTaxi Magazine.
from SpinTaxi Magazine https://ift.tt/SEdapw5
via IFTTT
Comments
Post a Comment