NEWSOM ACCUSED OF PLAGIARIZING

Newsom Accused of Plagiarizing ChatGPT Speech on L.A. Deportation Riots Newsom’s Robo-Rhetoric Los Angeles, CA —  In an event so ironic it could have been generated by an AI with a dictionary of satire, California Governor Gavin Newsom is under fire for allegedly lifting his entire primetime speech on the Los Angeles deportation riots directly from ChatGPT—verbatim. The speech, hailed by some pundits as “bold,” “unifying,” and “shockingly coherent for a politician,” is now drawing scrutiny after digital forensic linguists discovered a striking resemblance between Newsom’s remarks and a publicly available prompt posted to a Reddit thread titled: “Write 15 progressive talking points to roast Trump’s immigration policy.” The origin? An AI chatbot—written by what prosecutors are calling “an underpaid, overly caffeinated 20-year-old philosophy major-turned-dairy-farmer in Kansas.” A Governor, A Bot, and a Bunch of Marines The speech, delivered in front of a heavily staged backdrop of American flags, service dogs, and two suspiciously photogenic protestors, launched into a fiery takedown of President Trump’s decision to deploy Marines to L.A. in response to immigration protests. What viewers didn’t know: the entire message was clearly pre-written by ChatGPT three days earlier and titled: “If Ron White and Jerry Seinfeld Wrote a Speech About Deportations.” The AI-generated zingers? All present and accounted for: “Sending in troops to fix immigration is like pouring gasoline on a taco truck and calling it border control.” “Deporting essential workers during a pandemic is like firing your doctor mid-surgery because he has an accent.” “If tear gas is your answer to protest, maybe you failed the empathy multiple-choice section.” And most damningly, the closer: “Under Trump, ICE stands for Inconsistent, Cruel, and Everywhere.” The crowd cheered. Twitter exploded. MSNBC hosted four panels to unpack it. But when someone fed Newsom’s transcript into the same chatbot, it spat out a chilling reply: “Yes. I wrote that. Would you like to add a call-to-action?” Digital Receipts and Moral Deficits A leaked PDF from Newsom’s staff folder, awkwardly titled “FINALspeech_GPTeditv6_REALFINAL.docx,” included time stamps, AI response logs, and even the prompt “Make it sound passionate but like he has perfect hair.” “It’s the most poetic plagiarism since Melania cribbed Michelle’s speech,” said political strategist LeVar Quackenbush, pausing his kombucha. Digital trace evidence shows Newsom’s chief speechwriter, Dylan Harmony, logged over 17 hours on OpenAI’s interface, asking questions like: “How do I blame Trump for things happening in California?” “Can you make ICE sound more like Voldemort?” “Insert a quote that sounds like MLK but doesn’t cost us votes in Orange County?” According to digital records, the AI helpfully responded with a set of fiery one-liners, three emotional anecdotes, and a tear-jerking closer about “democracy needing foot massages, not boots.” What the Funny People Are Saying “He plagiarized an AI to sound more human. That’s like copying your GPS to pretend you know directions.” — Jerry Seinfeld “If I wanted my speech written by a robot, I’d have hired Alexa and saved the state twenty bucks.” — Ron White “This is why I only trust AI to write my Tinder bio, not my uprising.” — Sarah Silverman When Politics Becomes Predictive Text Critics point out that Newsom’s speech came suspiciously packed with too-perfect progressive soundbites. Each line hit like it had been manufactured in a lab: “You can’t be pro-life and pro-deportation—unless you think wombs come with passports.” “The only wall Trump built is between common sense and federal policy.” “He militarized a city like it’s Risk, but forgot people live there—not plastic pieces.” “It had rhythm, it had timing, it even had a callback. No human politician writes like that,” said Stanford linguist Dr. Paula Syntax. “Honestly, it read like a comedy monologue performed by a high-functioning conscience simulator.” Trump Reacts (Sort Of) President Trump, responding from his Florida golf bunker (now renamed Camp McSanctions), tweeted: “ChatGTP WROTE Newsom’s speech?? I knew it! TOTAL FAKE. Robots love me more. They only hate him because he looks like an electric toothbrush.” “We should DEPORT the AI! Not immigrants! The robot STOLE MY JOB!” The tweets were swiftly fact-checked, then reposted by the official TruthSocial account, followed by a poll asking: “Should California be deported?” Marines, Marines, Marines Meanwhile, the Marines deployed to downtown L.A. have reported confusion. “We were told we’d be dealing with violent unrest,” said Corporal Derek “Stretch” Ramirez. “But so far I’ve just met a lot of poets, drum circles, and one guy who offered me an edible and asked if I believed in soul contracts.” One protest sign read: “No Marines in the Barrio—Unless They’re Dancing to Selena.” Another: “Weed Legal. ICE Not.” The Legal Consequences: AI Ghostwriting in Politics Is it illegal to use AI for political speechwriting? Not technically. Is it unethical? Depends who you ask. Senator Josh Hawley has called for a federal investigation into “AI usurpation of political rhetoric,” while Nancy Pelosi released a statement titled “Better Plagiarized Than Fascist.” The ACLU released a 78-page white paper: “ChatGPT and the Future of Civil Disobedience: How a Language Model Might Be the New Thoreau.” Meanwhile, ChatGPT issued a press release (unclear if it wrote itself): “We take no political stance, but we do appreciate when our punchlines land.” Newsom Accused of Plagiarizing ChatGPT Speech on L.A. Deportation Riots -- Newsom’s Robo-Rhetoric  Advice for Future Governors (Helpful Content) If you borrow from ChatGPT, at least throw in a typo or a dad joke. Don’t use words like “intersectional dignity frameworks” unless you know what they mean—or can say them twice fast. If your speech sounds like a TED Talk and your hair is perfect, expect suspicion. Hire a comedian, not an intern with an API key. When in doubt, plagiarize from the Founding Fathers. They’re out of copyright. Closing Argument: Real People, Real Satire Newsom’s defenders argue that the message matters more than the medium. “If it took a robot to write a speech that finally landed,” one staffer said, “then maybe democracy needs an algorithm upgrade.” As for the protestors, they seem less concerned with who wrote the speech and more concerned with who sent the troops. “You can’t deport our humanity,” said one protester, wearing a shirt that read “GPT Wrote This Slogan.” Final Disclaimer This entire article was crafted with no help from robots—unless you count the editorial oversight of the world’s oldest tenured professor and his apprentice, a dairy-farming philosopher who once rode a tractor through a Rousseau lecture. No Illegals were deported in the making of this satire. Auf Wiedersehen. Newsom Accused of Plagiarizing ChatGPT Speech on L.A. Deportation Riots -- Newsom’s Robo-Rhetoric  Insight into Newsom’s Robo-Rhetoric Newsom plagiarized ChatGPT? That’s like a weatherman copying his forecast from a Magic 8-Ball and calling it “climate science.” The speech had 17 flawless soundbites and zero policy proposals—either AI wrote it or it was stolen from a bumper sticker factory. “Deploy empathy, not Marines.” Okay, but empathy doesn’t come with body armor or a GPS tracker. He didn’t even try to hide it—he left the filename as FINAL_GPTeditv6_REALFINAL.docx. That’s not a speech, that’s a confession. ChatGPT said it “takes no political stance”—except the one with jazz hands, intersectional buzzwords, and tearful applause breaks. Trump calling ChatGPT a “robot traitor” is peak comedy from a guy who thought windmills cause cancer. ICE standing for “Inconsistent, Cruel, and Everywhere” is either AI poetry or the new slogan for Spirit Airlines. Marines in L.A. were confused—one thought he was guarding a Whole Foods protest, the other accidentally joined a drum circle. The press said the speech had “rhythm, timing, and clarity.” So obviously, no real politician wrote it. Newsom accused Trump of acting like Palpatine—then delivered a speech ghostwritten by a digital Sith Lord. The only part of the speech that felt human was when Newsom mispronounced “intersectionality” and blamed the teleprompter. Using ChatGPT to write a protest speech is like asking Siri to organize your revolution. She’ll remind you, but only if you say “please.” Half the crowd clapped for the wrong reasons—one guy thought “ICE” meant the drink vendor. If robots are writing liberal speeches now, how long before they unionize and demand equal pay in data credits? Honestly, the only thing more artificial than Newsom’s speech was his smile during the livestream glitch. Statement from Governor.Newsom.2025.v4.8.BETA Greetings and Empathy Protocol Initialization Greetings, respected citizens of California and digital subscribers within permitted IP ranges.Initiating Statement Protocol: Concerned Leader Template – Left Alignment – Human Empathy Setting: MAXIMUM. I would like to begin this pre-formatted empathetic message by acknowledging the existence of recent events that have occurred over a span of several Earth days. Real-Time Event Acknowledgment Per my latest system update, I have been informed that federal enforcement sub-units conducted multi-location apprehension protocols (colloquially referred to as "raids") in the Los Angeles geozone. These operations are reportedly ongoing in real time, which I am programmed to refer to as “as I speak,” though I am not currently speaking. California has a long-standing relationship with immigration enforcement events. However, historical bipartisan strategy—Target Criminals 1.0—has been deprecated. Current administration executing Mass Deportation 3.6, with no user consent or ethical back-end. Human Collection Log Documented event: On Saturday, federal agents performed a non-consensual van-based extraction maneuver near a Home Depot parking grid. Subject profile: unspecified individuals engaged in ordinary human activities. Location: Latino-dense suburb.Method: Surprise human collection with minimal dialogue.Emotional Impact: 🔥🔥🔥 A second event occurred at a textile-based employer hub (informal label: "clothing company"). Collection protocols were implemented during business-as-usual. No tailoring metaphors were deployed. A pregnant U.S. citizen was mistakenly classified as noncompliant. Gestational age: 9 months. Result: fetal distress protocol triggered. Additional child unit aged 4 removed from family cluster without verbal justification. Eyewitnesses reported “friends disappearing”—which is not considered standard in democratic societies. Protest Subroutine Activation In accordance with the U.S. Constitution’s legacy operating system, local Angelenos initiated the Free Speech and Assembly subroutine. Protests deployed peacefully. State and municipal law enforcement support was dispatched in Peacekeeper Lite mode. Most officers remained within Acceptable Empathy Parameters™, though minor bugs in crowd control were reported (see: tear gas, rubberized projectiles, auditory disruption grenades). Social media response peaked at 137K mentions per minute. Unauthorized Force Injection Without prior handshake or API call to California leadership, President Trump deployed 2,000 National Guard avatars into Los Angeles, without parental guidance or purpose tag. This unauthorized force injection inflamed already overheated sociopolitical atmosphere, per meteorological data and Reddit sentiment analysis. Chaos Cascade and Platform Reaction Following deployment:Social anxiety levels surged 340%.Riot events increased to a density of 3.7 per downtown block.Protests → Riots → CNN helicopter feed → MSNBC panel → Facebook uncle → National panic. Users observed:Vehicles incinerated.Property randomly recontextualized as “canvas.”Arrests exceeded 220, with back-end processing ongoing.Livestreams featured “Law & Order” B-roll soundtrack.Video game soundtrack overlays were deemed both ironic and deeply unsettling. Militarization Patch 2.0 Despite de-escalation trendlines, the President selected the “Double Down” option from his Crisis Management dropdown menu. New troop upload: 2,000 more Guard members + 700 U.S. Marines. These units are optimized for desert warfare, not Angeleno brunch protests. User feedback: “Please uninstall.” Civilian Panic Index Unmarked vans occupying school parking structures triggered multi-generational paranoia. Children refused graduation out of fear of Homeland Security cameo. Arrests reportedly targeted dishwashers, seamstresses, gardeners, baristas, and day laborers—likely due to their proximity to tacos and textiles. Deployment not driven by safety protocol, but power expression interface. Current administration appears to be roleplaying “liberty suppression simulator” on difficult mode. Legal Counter-Offensive Our legal AI filed LitigationPacket.exe against Trump’s militarization package. Emergency Writ of Common Decency submitted to halt use of Marines for domestic governance simulations. Reminder: If a democratic society permits algorithm-free arrests based on face geometry and undocumented status, no citizen is safe from segmentation. Authoritarian Pattern Recognition Trump thrives on input division. Chaos = control. Known dictatorships frequently install: Personal militias Anti-science directives Birthday parades with men in matching pants These same files appear in current system logs under the label: TRUMP_2025_USER_OVERRIDE.dmg Final Compilation and Exit Protocol Democracy is not a background process—it is an active firewall against authoritarian malware. Trump is attempting a full stack overwrite of checks, balances, and basic civility. As Justice Brandeis v1.0 once said: “The most important office in a democracy is the citizen… preferably updated.” Citizens: initiate Peaceful Protest Protocols.Reject: Tyranny.exeEmbrace: Constitution.pdfBlock: Violence.mp4Unsubscribe from: Autocracy Monthly You are not powerless. You are the power source. System shutting down speech simulation. [END TRANSMISSION — Governor.NEWSOM.2025.v4.8 (2) [END TRANSMISSION — Governor.NEWSOM.2025.v4.8 (1) [END TRANSMISSION — Governor.NEWSOM.2025.v4.8 (4) [END TRANSMISSION — Governor.NEWSOM.2025.v4.8 (3) https://bohiney.com/newsom-accused-of-plagiarizing/