USAID & CIA Tried To Overthrow Our Own Government
USAID & CIA: “Oops, We Overthrew Our Own Government”
USAID’s Revolutionary Makeover: From Humanitarian Aid to “Oops, We Overthrew Our Own Government”
The United States Agency for International Development and the CIA funded the 2019 impeachment effort against President Donald Trump, according to investigative journalist Michael Shellenberger.
Shellenberger took to social media Wednesday night to explain his findings.
“USAID’s defenders say it’s about charity and development in poor nations. It’s not. It’s a $40 billion driver of regime change abroad. And now the evidence suggests that it, along with the CIA, were behind the 2019 impeachment of Trump — an illegal regime change effort at home,” Shellenberger posted on X
“USAID didn’t try to overthrow Trump; they were just ‘democratically assist him into retirement.’” — Jon Stewart
When USAID Stopped Helping and Started Plotting
The U.S. Agency for International Development (USAID) has long been known for its humanitarian efforts—providing disaster relief, economic development, and ensuring that dictators at least have access to sustainable farming before they get overthrown. But according to recent revelations, USAID’s latest venture involves a bold new rebranding: moving from “aid” to “regime change consulting.”
That’s right. USAID, funded by hard-earned taxpayer money, has apparently been dabbling in toppling governments—including its own. It’s a classic case of mission creep, like when your uncle starts a simple home repair project and accidentally remodels the entire kitchen.
At this point, it’s not clear whether USAID is a government agency or an aspiring Bond villain. We always assumed it was just about handing out vaccines and economic development grants, but apparently, it also has a “Political Revolution Starter Kit” available for qualifying applicants.
So what exactly is going on? And is this technically treason, or just an ambitious rebranding of the American Dream?
USAID’s “Regime Change Starter Pack”
For decades, USAID has been accidentally overthrowing foreign governments while handing out pamphlets on democracy. It’s basically the CIA’s less sneaky cousin—the one who insists they’re “just here to help” but somehow keeps showing up right before a coup.
It’s the governmental equivalent of a firefighter who keeps showing up at the scene of a fire with a suspicious amount of gasoline.
According to investigative journalist Michael Shellenberger, USAID didn’t just fund “independent” media groups overseas—it actually had a hand in managing them. That means it wasn’t just reporting on governments—it was helping replace them.
But why stop with foreign countries? Why not try a little regime change at home? After all, the U.S. government was just sitting there, completely coup-able. What’s a power-hungry, overfunded bureaucratic agency to do?
The Most Ambitious Crossover Event in Treason History
Michael Shellenberger dropped the bombshell that USAID, with the help of the CIA, was behind the 2019 impeachment of President Donald Trump. That’s right—an agency whose actual job is to build clean water wells in Uganda apparently moonlights as a deep-state puppet master.
And they didn’t even try to hide it! Instead of working in the shadows like a proper covert operation, they funded investigative media outlets to “expose” things they didn’t like and guide the narrative. Basically, they turned the news into a Choose Your Own Adventure book—except every ending involved an impeachment hearing.
Now, in normal circumstances, an American government agency actively working to overthrow an American president might be considered treason. But USAID calls it “enhancing democratic integrity,” which is a much friendlier way of saying “staging a coup with PowerPoint slides.”
One USAID official was overheard saying, “We’re not overthrowing governments, we’re just making aggressive political recommendations.”
USAID: The “Deep State” Internship Program
If USAID wasn’t supposed to overthrow the U.S. government, you’d think someone would’ve told them. But nope, they just kept following the same process they use overseas:
- Step One: Identify a country (or, in this case, a White House) in need of “structural change.”
- Step Two: Fund local media outlets to start reporting on “why change is necessary.”
- Step Three: Call it “democracy-building,” but make sure there’s a friendly new leader waiting in the wings.
- Step Four: Act surprised when people connect the dots.
It’s basically a government-backed Kickstarter for coups. The only thing missing is a fun rewards system—“Pledge $50 and get a free anti-corruption blog post! Pledge $100, and we’ll name a revolution after you!”
One USAID insider explained it this way:
“If you’ve been toppling governments abroad for decades, eventually you start wondering—why stop there? Why not use those skills at home? It’s like having a gym membership and never actually using it. Wasteful!”
The Independent Media That Wasn’t
A key part of USAID’s plan was funding independent journalism. Only problem? It wasn’t that independent.
USAID gave $20 million to the Organized Crime and Corruption Reporting Project (OCCRP)—a media group that sounds like it should be exposing corruption, but was actually getting its assignments from Washington.
That’s like if Watergate had been sponsored by Richard Nixon.
USAID even had hiring power over OCCRP, meaning the journalists they funded were more like employees than watchdogs.
One OCCRP journalist admitted, “I thought we were holding the powerful accountable. Turns out, we were just making propaganda, but with cooler fonts.”
From “Humanitarian Aid” to “Oops, We Overthrew You”
USAID has now blurred the line between democracy-building and democracy-dismantling. If their budget was a little bigger, they might’ve tried launching a full-blown Hunger Games scenario.
In the past, USAID helped rebuild war-torn nations. Now, they’re just creating the conflicts themselves—that way, they can get credit for cleaning them up later.
One USAID analyst reportedly suggested:
“Look, if we want to keep getting funding, we need more instability. Otherwise, what are we even here for?”
Elon Musk’s Plan: Privatize Revolutions
Elon Musk, always eager to insert himself into global crises, has proposed a private-sector alternative to USAID-run coups.
Under Musk’s new system, political overthrows will be fully decentralized and run through blockchain voting.
- Revolutions will now be crowdfunded on GoFundMe.
- Key government decisions will be made through Twitter polls.
- New leaders will be selected by a mix of AI and meme engagement.
Critics call Musk’s plan “absurdly reckless,” but Musk replied, “More reckless than USAID? Have you SEEN what they’ve been up to?”
Tough to argue with that.
USAID’s Legal Defense: “Whoops?”
Now that USAID has been caught using taxpayer money to play political Jenga with actual governments, one might think they’d face serious consequences.
But their legal defense is simple yet effective: “Technically, nobody ever told us we COULDN’T do this.”
And they have a point!
- The Constitution says a lot of things, but nowhere does it explicitly state, “USAID may not conduct regime change in Washington, D.C.”
- The U.S. government is so good at overthrowing governments abroad, they probably just assumed they had an automatic green light.
One USAID lawyer argued:
“If the CIA can do it, why can’t we? It’s basically unfair discrimination at this point.”
What Happens Next?
So, what now?
- Does USAID go back to just helping developing nations and pretend this never happened?
- Or does Congress slap them on the wrist, give them another billion dollars, and let them go back to work?
- Will other U.S. government agencies try to outdo them? (Looking at you, Department of Agriculture—time to step up your game.)
At this point, nobody knows. The only certainty is USAID is one of the most ambitious government agencies in history—accidentally committing treason while cashing taxpayer-funded paychecks.
One USAID official summed it up best:
“We thought we were just helping democracy. Turns out, we were running an international political soap opera. Oops.”
When USAID Became the World’s Least-Secret Secret Agency
In a shocking turn of events that surprised absolutely no one who’s ever read a history book, investigative journalist Michael Shellenberger has exposed that USAID has been quietly funding independent media organizations in a secretive bid to enact “partisan regime change” worldwide. That’s right—while we were all watching cat videos, USAID was apparently running its own Netflix original geopolitical thriller.
According to Shellenberger, USAID and the CIA were allegedly involved in the 2019 impeachment of President Donald Trump and, because that wasn’t enough, they then turned their attention to using media to influence foreign governments. It’s unclear whether they also tried to influence their own Yelp reviews, but at this point, it wouldn’t be surprising.
The Organized Crime and Corruption Reporting Project (OCCRP), an investigative media group that sounds like a villain organization from a James Bond film, has been receiving USAID funds with—get this—“substantial involvement” clauses, meaning the U.S. government wasn’t just donating cash, but also calling the shots.
So much for independent journalism. Turns out, investigative reporters were about as independent as a Disney Star Wars reboot—funded by corporate interests, claiming to be bold, and ultimately leaving half the audience disappointed.
From Helping the Poor to Playing Political Chess
USAID, traditionally known for humanitarian work like disaster relief, health programs, and the occasional awkward handshake with foreign dignitaries, apparently had an identity crisis. Instead of just handing out food and vaccines, it decided to dabble in regime change because, hey, why just help people when you can also install new leadership?
This revelation has left some Americans reassessing USAID’s true purpose. Instead of being the benevolent hand of democracy, it turns out they’ve been the slightly manipulative, overly attached ex who keeps showing up at countries’ doorsteps saying, “I just want to talk.”
- One political analyst put it bluntly: “You know you’re bad at your job when even your own citizens are surprised you still exist.”
- Another added: “Apparently, USAID is that one friend who pretends to help clean up your house but is really just snooping through your medicine cabinet.”
USAID’s Relationship with OCCRP: More Strings Attached Than a Puppet Show
According to the revelations, USAID didn’t just give OCCRP money—they had a say in their hiring decisions, work plans, and investigative focus. If that’s not a conflict of interest, then neither is a Las Vegas casino running a Gamblers Anonymous hotline.
Drew Sullivan, the founder of OCCRP, admitted in a 2024 German documentary that USAID had veto power over key personnel. This means that independent journalists working under OCCRP were about as “independent” as a toddler on a leash at Disney World.
- One anonymous OCCRP reporter revealed: “We thought we were holding the powerful accountable. Turns out, we were just writing op-eds for our sponsors. If we knew this, we would’ve just gotten jobs at BuzzFeed.”
- Another added: “If USAID was this involved in our hiring, I should’ve at least gotten a government pension.”
Michael Shellenberger also revealed that the agency threatened to sue journalists who tried to expose them. Because nothing screams “We stand for press freedom!” like aggressively silencing people who report on you.
The Samantha Power Plot Twist
Former USAID administrator Samantha Power made things even more suspicious when she referred to OCCRP as “a major partner of the U.S. government” back in 2021.
Now, if you’re running an “independent investigative media organization” and one of the world’s most powerful governments calls you “a major partner,” you’re probably not as independent as you thought. That’s like McDonald’s saying, “We support the Vegan Society.” Sure, you can say it, but no one’s going to believe you.
To make matters even more ridiculous, USAID poured $20 million into OCCRP under its “Strengthen Transparency and Accountability Through Investigative Reporting” (STAIR) program. Nothing says transparency like covert funding and lawsuit threats!
- One observer noted: “At this point, USAID might as well rebrand as CNN+ because they’re funding a bunch of ‘independent’ journalists no one asked for.”
- Another said: “If you need a ‘transparency’ initiative to secretly fund journalists, your PR team needs a raise.”
Independent Media Now Accepting Donations… and Cat Videos
With USAID’s funding coming under scrutiny, independent journalists might need new sources of revenue. Crowdfunding campaigns are popping up with slogans like:
- “Help us expose corruption—one Venmo at a time.”
- “Support investigative journalism! Now with a free tote bag.”
- “We promise we’re not government-funded anymore (we think).”
Some desperate reporters have even suggested pivoting to influencer-style content, including:
- “Unboxing Government Scandals—Sponsored by Raid Shadow Legends.”
- “Dictator Fashion Review: Who Wore Oppression Best?”
- “POV: You’re a Whistleblower on the Run.”
Meanwhile, one media startup is considering a premium subscription model where users can pay extra to unlock classified government leaks before they become public. Who says investigative journalism can’t be a business?
Elon Musk’s Brilliant Solution: Turn Investigative Journalism Into a DAO
Elon Musk, ever the expert on everything (except naming his kids something pronounceable), has proposed moving independent journalism to the blockchain. His pitch?
“Journalism should be decentralized, unregulated, and completely based on Twitter polls.”
Under Musk’s plan:
- Journalists will be paid in Dogecoin.
- Investigative articles will be minted as NFTs.
- Readers can vote on whether a story is real or “fake news” using a thumbs-up emoji.
Critics say this sounds terrible, but Musk responded: “Sounds better than USAID running a shadow government, doesn’t it?” He may have a point.
Trump Chimes In: “USAID Was Just Paying Off the Media”
Former President Donald Trump, never one to pass up a chance to dunk on his opponents, claimed USAID’s media funding was just a Democratic slush fund.
- “They weren’t funding independent journalists, folks! They were funding the Fake News! Just more swamp creatures! Sad!”
- “If I had known USAID had a $20 million media budget, I would’ve bought an ad on CNN to run ‘TRUMP 2024: BIGGER, BETTER, YUGER!’”
While Trump’s critics argue that he also wanted to control media narratives, his supporters say this proves his 2016 “fake news” rants were justified.
Regardless, USAID is now facing major backlash—which means expect a heavily redacted government report in about three years that totally clears them of any wrongdoing.
Final Thoughts: Is This Treason?
The real question: Is any of this illegal?
Technically, yes. But also technically, everything is illegal if you look hard enough.
At this point, USAID’s involvement in regime change is like jaywalking—sure, it’s against the rules, but who’s really going to stop them?
So what have we learned?
- Never trust an “independent” journalist if they have a government-funded 401(k).
- If a U.S. government agency exists, assume it’s trying to overthrow something.
- And most importantly, if you see USAID setting up shop in your town, it might be time to start updating your résumé.
Because history shows they don’t just “help.” They “help”… and then suddenly, you have a brand-new government.
Disclaimer: This satirical article was written by an 80-year-old muckety-muck with tenure and a 20-year-old philosophy-major-turned-dairy-farmer. USAID did not approve this message—but if they did, they’d probably send an invoice for consulting fees.
10 Observations About USAID’s Regime Change Side Hustle
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USAID’s new slogan should be: “Democracy? We got it on sale!”
– If you thought they were just here for disaster relief, surprise! They’re also running a clearance sale on world leaders. -
USAID is basically the Dollar Store version of the CIA.
– Same regime change, but with fewer explosions and more paperwork. -
The IRS audits your taxes, but USAID audits your entire government.
– “Oh, you guys still have free elections? Cute. Let’s fix that.” -
Foreign leaders are now installing “Beware of USAID” signs on their palaces.
– It’s cheaper than hiring bodyguards. -
The biggest red flag in global politics? USAID suddenly taking an interest in your country.
– If USAID shows up with a “democracy-building” grant, start packing. -
USAID has officially overthrown more governments than Netflix has canceled good shows.
– And somehow, both leave people equally disappointed. -
Even James Bond is like, “Whoa, USAID, maybe slow down a bit?”
– At least MI6 doesn’t pretend to be handing out humanitarian aid while toppling regimes. -
USAID should be sponsored by IKEA, because every time they overthrow a government, they leave behind an unfinished project.
– “Congratulations! You now have democracy. Some assembly required.” -
Other U.S. agencies are getting jealous.
– The Department of Agriculture is now considering overthrowing the Corn Syrup Lobby just to keep up. -
USAID keeps accidentally leaking its plans by putting them in PowerPoint presentations.
– “Slide 4: How to Overthrow a Government Without Looking Like the Bad Guys.”
10 Comedian One-Liners About USAID’s Democracy Discount Store
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“You know it’s bad when USAID is the only aid agency where the ‘before’ and ‘after’ pictures look exactly the same—just with a different leader.” — Ilana Glazer
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“USAID should be on Yelp. ‘One star: They showed up to help, and now my president is missing.’” — John Mulaney
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“Imagine explaining USAID to an alien. ‘Oh yeah, this group hands out food, builds schools, and, uh… replaces governments when they get bored.’” — Sarah Silverman
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“USAID’s idea of foreign aid is like your grandma’s idea of home cooking—‘Here, let me fix it for you.’” — Marcella Arguello
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“You know you’re in trouble when USAID takes an interest in your country. It’s like seeing a shark circle your boat but in a friendly, bureaucratic way.” — Taylor Tomlinson
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“USAID’s budget is so big, they could probably overthrow the U.S. government if they really wanted to—oh wait.” — Rose Matafeo
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“If USAID were a person, they’d be the friend who ‘helps’ you clean up by throwing all your furniture out the window.” — Lauren Pattison
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“USAID should just sell T-shirts that say ‘I Went to a USAID-Funded Election, and All I Got Was This New Government.’” — Zainab Johnson
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“USAID overthrows governments with such precision, even Apple is like, ‘Damn, that’s a smooth transition.’” — Hannah Berner
Originally posted 2025-02-17 12:08:35.
The post USAID & CIA Tried To Overthrow Our Own Government appeared first on SpinTaxi Magazine.
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