Workout Buddy Feature: Dating App for People Who Lie About Exercise
Manhattan Gym-Goers Report Matches Who Never Actually Show Up
Major fitness and dating apps have rolled out new “Workout Buddy” features designed to connect users for exercise partnerships, creating what Manhattan users are describing as “Tinder for people who pretend they work out” and resulting in thousands of matches between individuals who enthusiastically agree to meet at the gym and then never, ever actually go. The feature, which promised to revolutionize fitness accountability through social connection, has instead created an ecosystem where people swipe right on attractive profiles claiming to love 5 AM runs while both parties know they’re lying and will definitely not be running at 5 AM or any other time.
“I’ve matched with seventeen workout buddies,” explained Brooklyn resident Sarah Martinez, who has worked out with exactly zero of them. “We all exchange messages about our fitness goals and schedules. We agree to meet at the gym. Then the day arrives and everyone has elaborate excuses: work emergency, family obligation, sudden injury, or my personal favorite, ‘the gym was too crowded so I did a home workout instead,’ which means they didn’t work out at all. We’re all performing fitness enthusiasm for strangers on the internet while continuing to not exercise. It’s dating app energy applied to the gym, meaning lots of interest, zero follow-through, and mutual disappointment disguised as friendly understanding.”
The Workout Buddy feature includes profile sections for fitness levels, preferred activities, and available times—all of which users fill out with aspirational information rather than accurate data. “My profile says I’m ‘intermediate’ at CrossFit and available for early morning sessions,” admitted Manhattan resident David Chen. “I’ve done CrossFit twice in my life, both times nearly died, and I haven’t woken up before 8 AM voluntarily in three years. But ‘beginner who sometimes walks to the subway and considers it cardio’ doesn’t get matches. So I lie. Everyone lies. We all pretend to be fitness enthusiasts seeking accountability partners. Then we match with other pretenders and collectively ghost each other when it’s time to actually exercise. It’s beautifully dysfunctional.”
App developers have expressed confusion about the feature’s failure to generate actual workout partnerships despite high user engagement. “People are matching enthusiastically,” noted one product manager. “They’re messaging. They’re expressing interest. Then they’re not meeting up. We track gym check-ins through app integrations. Workout Buddy matches check in at the same gym approximately 3% of the time, and that’s probably coincidental rather than coordinated. People aren’t using this feature to work out—they’re using it to feel good about intending to work out while never actually following through. We’ve accidentally created a support group for fitness procrastination.”
The feature has inadvertently revealed uncomfortable truths about fitness culture and self-deception. “The Workout Buddy feature proves people want to appear fitness-oriented more than they want to actually be fit,” explained NYU behavioral psychologist Dr. Rebecca Torres. “Creating a profile, matching with workout partners, and discussing exercise goals provides psychological satisfaction without requiring actual effort. You get the social validation of being ‘someone who works out’ without the inconvenience of working out. It’s performance fitness—looking the part without doing the work. The app enables this perfectly by making intentions visible while outcomes remain private. Nobody sees that you didn’t go to the gym. They just see your aspirational profile.”
Some users have embraced the feature’s actual function: facilitating connections between people who enjoy talking about fitness more than doing fitness. “My workout buddy and I have never worked out together,” explained one Manhattan user. “But we have excellent coffee dates where we discuss our fitness goals, share workout plans we’ll never execute, and feel productive about our health without actually doing anything healthy. It’s therapy disguised as gym planning. We’re both getting something valuable from this relationship—just not exercise. I’ve learned to accept that my workout buddy is actually my ‘talk about working out buddy,’ and that’s fine. Honest self-awareness is progress, even if physical fitness isn’t.”
The few users who actually attempt to meet for workouts report that reality rarely matches profile expectations. “I met a workout buddy who claimed to run marathons,” reported one Brooklyn resident. “She showed up to our first run wearing jeans and smoking a cigarette. We walked two blocks, she got winded, and we agreed to reschedule. We never rescheduled. But we still match on the app and occasionally message about our ‘training plans,’ which is code for ‘we’re both still not exercising but maintaining the fiction that we will eventually.’ It’s the fitness equivalent of penpals—we’re workout buddies in theory only, and theory is much easier than practice.”
Fitness influencers have attempted to leverage the Workout Buddy feature for self-promotion, creating profiles that promise workout partnerships but actually funnel matches toward their paid coaching services, supplement sponsorships, or OnlyFans accounts. “I matched with someone who claimed to want a lifting partner,” explained one frustrated user. “Turns out she wanted paying clients for her online coaching program. Her ‘workout buddy’ pitch was sales funnel marketing disguised as fitness friendship. I should have known when her profile photos were all professionally shot and she had a link in her bio. But hope springs eternal that maybe, just maybe, someone actually wants to work out. They never do. Everyone’s selling something or avoiding actual exercise. Usually both.”
App developers have announced plans to add accountability features including verified gym check-ins, workout completion badges, and partner ratings. Users have responded by noting that accountability is exactly what they’re avoiding by using the feature in the first place. “If I wanted accountability, I’d hire a trainer,” noted one user. “I’m using Workout Buddy specifically because it provides the appearance of accountability without actual consequences for not working out. Adding real accountability defeats the purpose. The purpose being: I get to tell myself and others that I have a workout buddy and plans to exercise, while continuing my actual lifestyle of ordering Seamless and watching Netflix. Please don’t ruin this with actual expectations. The lying to myself is the whole point.”
SOURCE: https://ift.tt/kpNPize
SOURCE: https://bohiney.com/workout-buddy-feature/.
By: Annika Steinmann.
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