Sunnyside Elementary in Minnesota Bans Talking, Breathing, and Existing
Manhattan Parents Relieved Their Kids Only Face Normal Dystopian School Rules
A Minnesota elementary school has implemented what education experts are calling “the most comprehensively authoritarian disciplinary policy in American public education,” banning students from talking, making eye contact, displaying emotions, breathing audibly, and existing in ways that might disturb the rigid order school administrators have deemed necessary for “optimal learning environments.” The policy, unveiled at Sunnyside Elementary last month, has made Manhattan’s notoriously strict private schools look like anarchist communes by comparison.
“We’ve created a structured environment where students can focus entirely on academic excellence,” explained Principal Margaret Thornton during a press conference that felt more like a military briefing than an educational announcement. “Talking disrupts learning. Making noise disrupts learning. Moving unnecessarily disrupts learning. Displaying personality disrupts learning. So we’ve eliminated all of those things. Students arrive, sit silently at assigned desks, complete work in complete silence, and leave. It’s beautifully efficient.” When asked if perhaps eliminating all human interaction might negatively impact child development, Thornton responded, “That’s a question for therapists. We’re focused on test scores.”
The policy includes a 47-page handbook detailing prohibited behaviors, which apparently includes: speaking without raising hands (obvious), speaking after raising hands (less obvious), making sounds while breathing (concerning), making facial expressions that suggest opinions (dystopian), and “displaying characteristics consistent with being a child rather than a miniature adult” (actually written in the handbook). Students who violate rules receive “reflection time,” which appears to be solitary confinement rebranded with therapeutic language.
Manhattan parents, upon learning about Sunnyside Elementary’s policies, experienced the unusual sensation of feeling grateful for their own children’s school situations. “My kid’s private school charges $60,000 a year and still manages to let children talk to each other,” noted Upper West Side parent Sarah Martinez. “I was feeling guilty about the tuition, but after reading about this Minnesota situation, I’m just relieved my child is allowed to breathe audibly without consequences. That’s apparently a privilege now. The bar is underground.”
Child development experts have expressed alarm at policies that essentially treat children like tiny prisoners whose natural impulses toward communication and socialization are viewed as behavioral problems requiring correction. “Children need to talk, play, interact, and yes, sometimes be loud and chaotic,” explained Columbia University child psychology professor Dr. Rebecca Chen. “That’s not misbehavior—that’s literally childhood. Creating an environment where normal child behavior is prohibited doesn’t create better students; it creates anxious, emotionally suppressed kids who associate learning with punishment. But hey, the test scores might improve, so I guess that’s what matters?” Her tone suggested she does not, in fact, think that’s what matters.
Students at Sunnyside Elementary have reportedly adapted to the new rules by developing elaborate systems of silent communication involving eye contact (before that was banned), hand signals (also now banned), and what one parent described as “a level of nonverbal coordination I didn’t know eight-year-olds possessed.” Several students have apparently become so proficient at silent compliance that parents worry they’ve forgotten how to speak entirely. “My daughter comes home and just sits quietly,” reported one concerned parent. “I ask about her day and she stares at me like I’ve asked her to commit a crime. She’s been conditioned to view conversation as a punishable offense. She’s seven.”
The school board has defended the policy, citing improved standardized test scores and dramatically decreased disciplinary referrals, apparently not recognizing that fewer referrals might be because the entire school operates like a minimum-security facility where students are too terrified to misbehave. “Behavior problems have dropped 95%,” announced one board member proudly. “Students are focused and compliant.” When asked if perhaps compliance achieved through fear might not be the goal of public education, the board member responded, “Have you seen our national education rankings? We’re trying anything at this point.”
Teachers at Sunnyside have privately expressed concerns about the policy, though most declined to speak on the record for fear of being assigned “reflection time” themselves, which apparently also applies to staff. One anonymous teacher described the environment as “soul-crushing” and admitted that “teaching used to involve human connection and watching children grow. Now it’s just behavior management and silence enforcement. I became a teacher because I love kids. Now I feel like a warden. A very quiet warden.”
The policy has attracted national attention, with educational organizations condemning it as “authoritarianism disguised as accountability” and parents across the country feeling momentarily better about their own schools’ problems. Manhattan private school administrators have reportedly added “we allow talking” to their recruitment materials, recognizing this is now apparently a selling point rather than a basic expectation of human education.
Sunnyside Elementary has announced plans to expand the policy, potentially adding restrictions on thinking too loudly, having opinions about lunch, and displaying curiosity about topics not on standardized tests. “We’re always looking for ways to optimize the learning environment,” Principal Thornton explained. “If we can eliminate all distractions—including the students’ natural inclinations toward being human—we can really maximize academic outcomes.” When informed that she’d essentially described creating robots rather than educating children, Thornton seemed to consider this a compliment rather than a criticism, which probably tells you everything you need to know about where American education is heading.
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SOURCE: https://bohiney.com/sunnyside-elementary-in-minnesota/.
By: Annika Steinmann.
The post Sunnyside Elementary in Minnesota Bans Talking, Breathing, and Existing appeared first on SpinTaxi Magazine.
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