Homeownership as Achievable as Time Travel, Economists Confirm
Manhattan Millennials Told to “Just Buy a House” by People Who Bought in 1987
A comprehensive economic analysis from NYU’s Housing Research Institute has confirmed what every millennial and Gen Z worker already knows: homeownership has become roughly as achievable as inventing time travel, building a working teleportation device, or convincing baby boomers that their generation’s economic advantages no longer exist. The study found that purchasing a home in major cities now requires either inheriting wealth, marrying wealth, or developing technology that violates the laws of physics—all equally likely options for the average young professional.
“We ran the numbers seventeen different ways,” explained lead economist Dr. Sarah Martinez from her Manhattan office, which she definitely doesn’t own because she’s 42 and still renting despite having a PhD and a six-figure salary. “Millennials would need to save 100% of their income for 47 years to afford a down payment on a median-priced home in New York. Obviously, that math doesn’t work because you need money for trivial things like food and rent. So we adjusted for ‘reasonable’ savings rates—20% of income, which is already laughably high—and found they could afford a down payment in approximately never. Time travel would actually be faster. If you can invent time travel, go back to 1987, and buy property then, that’s your best bet for homeownership.”
The study confirms that housing prices have increased 400% since 1980 while wages have increased approximately 22%, creating what economists call “a complete disconnect from economic reality” and what everyone else calls “why we’re all living with roommates at age 35.” A home that cost $100,000 in 1987 now costs $650,000, while salaries that were $40,000 then are now $48,000. “The math is truly impressive in how much it doesn’t work,” noted Dr. Martinez. “It’s almost like someone designed an economy specifically to prevent young people from accumulating wealth. Which, considering how much older generations benefit from high property values, might not be accidental.”
Brooklyn resident Marcus Thompson, 33, has been attempting to save for a down payment for eight years and has accumulated enough money to maybe purchase a parking space, if he’s lucky. “My parents bought their house in 1985 for $120,000 while earning $45,000 a year,” he explained. “I earn $85,000 and homes in that same neighborhood cost $900,000. They keep telling me to stop buying avocado toast and lattes, as if the $200 annual I spend on breakfast treats is the difference between me and homeownership. I’d need to eliminate avocado toast for 175 years to afford a down payment. I don’t think I’ll live that long. Also, their generation invented brunch, so blaming breakfast foods is rich.”
The study has sparked debate between generations, with older Americans insisting homeownership is still possible if young people would just “work harder” and “make sacrifices,” while younger Americans insist those same people are “economically illiterate” and “living in 1987 mentally while pretending it’s still economically relevant.” “My boomer uncle told me I should just buy a starter home,” reported Manhattan resident Jennifer Walsh. “I showed him starter home prices—$500,000 for a one-bedroom condo an hour outside the city. He said that seemed high but I should save more. I’m saving 20% of my income already. He saved nothing and bought a house anyway because homes used to cost three years’ salary instead of fifteen. But sure, I’m the problem.”
Financial advisors have attempted to offer solutions, though their advice typically amounts to “make more money,” “spend less money,” or “be born wealthy.” “We tell clients to increase income through side hustles,” explained one Manhattan financial planner. “Which is code for ‘work a second job so you can afford the same lifestyle one job provided your parents.’ We suggest cutting expenses, which means living like a monk and never enjoying anything. And we recommend investing, which is great except you need money to invest and all your money goes to rent. So basically, our advice is: do impossible things, sacrifice everything that makes life worth living, and hope something changes. It’s very helpful, as you can tell by everyone still renting.”
Some economists argue that homeownership isn’t necessary for financial security, pointing to successful renters who’ve built wealth through other means. Young people have responded to this argument by noting that “cope harder” isn’t economic analysis and that renting means paying someone else’s mortgage instead of building equity. “Economists who own homes keep telling us we don’t need to own homes,” observed Brooklyn resident David Park. “That’s convenient for them. Meanwhile, my rent increases 8% annually while my salary increases 2%. I’m paying $2,800 monthly for a one-bedroom that I’ll never own while my landlord uses my rent to buy more properties. But sure, homeownership isn’t important. Easy to say when you bought in 2003.”
The study concludes that without significant policy interventions—increased housing construction, restrictions on investment property ownership, or radical economic restructuring—homeownership will remain impossible for most young Americans, who will instead become a permanent renter class funding older generations’ retirement through continuously rising rent payments. “We’re creating a feudal system where landowners extract wealth from permanent renters who can never accumulate property themselves,” summarized Dr. Martinez. “It’s economically unsustainable and socially destructive. But fixing it would require policies that negatively impact current homeowners’ property values, and since they’re the ones who vote, nothing will change. So time travel is honestly your best option. Or revolution. Those are really your only two choices at this point.”
As of press time, several millennials have begun serious research into time travel, concluding that inventing physics-defying technology is more realistic than saving enough money to buy a house in New York City under current economic conditions. When asked if they’d considered moving to more affordable cities, they noted that “affordable cities” don’t have jobs that pay enough to eventually move back, creating a poverty trap disguised as cost-of-living arbitrage. The future of American homeownership remains unclear, though “grim” seems like a safe bet.
SOURCE: https://ift.tt/An6OZDX
SOURCE: https://bohiney.com/homeownership-as-achievable-as-time-travel/.
By: Annika Steinmann.
The post Homeownership as Achievable as Time Travel, Economists Confirm appeared first on SpinTaxi Magazine.
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