CDC Warns of New Variant: Aggressive Nostalgia for Times That Weren’t Actually Better
Manhattan Residents Convinced 2019 Was Paradise, Conveniently Forget It Wasn’t
The Centers for Disease Control issued an urgent warning Friday about a rapidly spreading new variant of collective amnesia causing Americans to romanticize pre-pandemic life with dangerous levels of historical inaccuracy. The condition, which experts are calling “acute nostalgia syndrome” or “remember-when-itis,” has infected approximately 89% of Manhattan residents, causing them to believe that 2019 was a golden age of prosperity, happiness, and functional society rather than, you know, also pretty stressful and problematic but with different problems than we have now.
“Patients are exhibiting severe symptoms of selective memory,” explained CDC epidemiologist Dr. Sarah Martinez during a press conference at the agency’s Manhattan field office. “They claim life was perfect before March 2020, conveniently forgetting that in 2019 they were also stressed, broke, anxious, and complaining constantly about how terrible everything was. We’re seeing people say things like ‘remember when we could just live our lives?’ as if 2019 wasn’t also full of traffic, expensive rent, political chaos, and climate anxiety. The nostalgia has reached pandemic levels of distortion.”
The variant appears to be particularly virulent among urban professionals in their 30s and 40s who have convinced themselves that pre-pandemic New York City was some kind of utopia despite spending most of 2019 complaining about subway delays, gentrification, and how they could never afford to buy an apartment. “I keep hearing people say ‘I miss 2019’ and I’m like, you hated 2019!” noted Brooklyn resident Jennifer Chen. “You spent the entire year stressed about work, politics, and whether your expensive degree was worth it. Now you’re acting like it was the best time of your life. The past is being retroactively improved by your brain because the present is terrible. That’s not nostalgia—that’s your brain lying to you for comfort.”
Symptoms of the variant include: misremembering 2019 as carefree despite evidence of constant anxiety; believing you were in better physical shape than you actually were; insisting social interactions were easier when you also spent those years complaining about small talk and networking events; and claiming you “took things for granted” when you actually complained about those exact things constantly. “People say ‘I miss when we could just go to restaurants without thinking about it,'” explained NYU psychology professor Dr. Rebecca Torres. “But in 2019, they were also overthinking restaurant choices, stressing about whether to split the check, and posting Instagram stories asking followers to ‘weigh in’ on where to eat. The anxiety was different, but it was still anxiety. We’re just nostalgic for familiar stress patterns.”
The CDC’s warning comes as researchers document increasing cases of “temporal displacement fantasy,” where individuals genuinely believe their pre-pandemic lives were significantly better despite objective data showing they were equally stressed, just about different things. “We’ve analyzed social media posts from 2019,” explained Dr. Martinez. “People were complaining about the exact same things they’re now nostalgic for. They hated commuting—now they miss it. They found social obligations exhausting—now they miss them. They thought concerts were too expensive and crowded—now they’re devastated they can’t go. The human brain is apparently terrible at accurately remembering how miserable we were.”
Manhattan therapists report their practices are overwhelmed with patients suffering from acute nostalgia syndrome, convinced their lives were better “before” despite therapy notes from 2019 showing they were also struggling with depression, anxiety, career dissatisfaction, and relationship problems. “My client insists she was thriving in 2019,” noted Upper West Side therapist Dr. David Park. “I have notes from sessions where she cried about her job, her dating life, and her inability to afford her apartment. But now she’s convinced that was paradise because at least she could go to bars freely. The brain’s capacity for rewriting history is genuinely impressive and also deeply concerning.”
The variant has created a secondary problem: people making terrible life decisions based on false nostalgia. Several Manhattan residents have quit remote jobs to return to offices they previously hated, convinced that in-person work was better. Others have moved back to cities they fled during the pandemic, forgetting they originally left because they couldn’t stand urban life. “I moved back to New York because I missed it,” explained one recent returnee. “I’ve been here three weeks and I remember now that I actually hate the crowds, the noise, and the rent. But for two years I was nostalgic for this exact experience I’m currently hating. My brain completely lied to me about what I wanted.”
Experts warn that acute nostalgia syndrome may be chronic, with no known cure except perhaps living long enough to start romanticizing the current terrible time once it becomes the past. “In 2030, people will probably be nostalgic for 2024,” predicted Dr. Martinez. “They’ll say ‘remember when things were simpler?’ despite the fact that 2024 is obviously not simple. The human brain needs to believe the past was better because it makes the present more tolerable. It’s adaptive but also completely divorced from reality. We’re basically a species that survives through collective delusion about history.”
The CDC recommends treating acute nostalgia syndrome by reviewing old social media posts, reading your own complaining texts from 2019, and accepting that the past wasn’t actually better—you’re just more comfortable with familiar suffering than new suffering. “The treatment is basically confronting patients with evidence that they were also miserable before,” explained Dr. Martinez. “It’s not fun, but it’s necessary. We need people to accept that 2019 wasn’t paradise—it was just a different set of problems that your brain has now repackaged as ‘the good old days’ because nostalgia is less painful than acknowledging that maybe all times are kind of terrible and we just adapt to whatever specific terribleness we’re currently experiencing.”
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SOURCE: https://bohiney.com/cdc-warns-of-new-variant/.
By: Annika Steinmann.
The post CDC Warns of New Variant: Aggressive Nostalgia for Times That Weren’t Actually Better appeared first on SpinTaxi Magazine.
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