Air Fryer Owners Form Religious Cult, Convert Manhattan Neighborhood
Brooklyn Devotees Claim Kitchen Appliance Changed Their Lives, Won’t Stop Talking About It
What began as innocent enthusiasm for a convenient kitchen appliance has evolved into what sociologists are calling “a full-blown religious movement” after air fryer owners in Brooklyn formed an organized belief system centered around the worship of convection cooking technology. The group, which calls itself “The Church of the Circulating Air,” now holds weekly gatherings in Williamsburg where members share recipes, testimonies of their conversion experiences, and increasingly extreme claims about the air fryer’s life-changing properties that range from “makes great chicken wings” to “has fundamentally altered my relationship with existence.”
“The air fryer didn’t just change how I cook—it changed who I am as a person,” declared church founder Marcus Thompson during Sunday services, which feature readings from the appliance’s instruction manual and group chanting of “crispy not greasy, amen.” “Before I owned an air fryer, I was lost. Unhealthy. Using my oven like some kind of peasant. Then I discovered the Way of the Basket, and everything became clear. The air fryer is not just a cooking method—it’s a lifestyle, a philosophy, a path to enlightenment. And everyone needs to know about it, constantly, whether they asked or not.”
The cult’s formation follows a pattern observed among other intense product enthusiasm communities, but air fryer devotion has reached levels that concern mental health professionals. Members report spending hours daily perfecting recipes, photographing their air-fried creations, and aggressively evangelizing to anyone who mentions being hungry. “My neighbor has knocked on my door six times this month to tell me about his air fryer,” explained exasperated Manhattan resident Sarah Martinez. “He’s brought me samples. He’s sent me links to videos. He’s offered to air fry my dinner for me. It’s like he joined a cult, except the cult is about a $79 kitchen appliance from Target. When I said I’m happy with my oven, he looked at me with genuine pity and said, ‘I used to be like you.’ It’s disturbing.”
The Church of the Circulating Air has developed increasingly elaborate theological frameworks around air fryer use. Doctrine includes the belief that air-fried food is spiritually superior to traditionally cooked food, that non-air fryer owners are “living in darkness,” and that the appliance’s ability to cook frozen foods quickly is evidence of its divine nature. Advanced members participate in what they call “sacred meal prep rituals” where they air fry vegetables while discussing the metaphysical implications of crisping technology. “We’re not just cooking,” explained one devotee. “We’re participating in a ancient practice of air circulation that connects us to something larger than ourselves. Also, the fries come out really good.”
Psychologists studying the phenomenon have identified several factors contributing to air fryer cult formation: the appliance’s legitimate convenience creates positive reinforcement; the superiority complex that comes from feeling you’ve discovered something others are missing; and the desperate human need to believe that a consumer purchase will fundamentally improve your life. “People want to believe that buying the right product will solve their problems,” explained NYU psychology professor Dr. Rebecca Chen. “Air fryers are objectively useful, so when they buy one and it works, they experience genuine improvement in one small area of life. Then they extrapolate that to mean the air fryer is magical and everyone without one is suffering. It’s consumer psychology meets religious fervor meets the very human tendency to become insufferable about things we like.”
The cult has faced criticism from traditional cooking communities who argue that ovens, stovetops, and actual deep frying produce superior results. These criticisms are met with what church members call “the sadness of those who have not yet seen the light” and what critics call “smug dismissal of legitimate culinary techniques.” “Air fryer people are the vegans of kitchen appliances,” complained one chef. “They cannot stop telling you about it. They act like everyone who doesn’t own one is wrong. They’ve built entire identities around a countertop convection oven. It’s exhausting. And before you ask, yes, I’ve tried one. It’s fine. It’s a fine appliance. But it’s not a personality.”
The church has begun expanding beyond Brooklyn, establishing satellite congregations in Queens and Manhattan. Services include communal cooking sessions, scripture study (Amazon reviews), and missionary work where members approach strangers in kitchen supply stores to discuss the virtues of air frying. “We’re called to spread the message,” explained one missionary. “When we see someone buying a deep fryer or contemplating an oven purchase, we have a responsibility to intervene and show them the better path. It’s not judgment—it’s love. Aggressive, unsolicited love that involves telling people their cooking methods are inferior.”
Critics warn that the Church of the Circulating Air exhibits concerning cult-like behaviors including: insisting their way is the only correct way, aggressively recruiting new members, creating an us-versus-them mentality between air fryer owners and non-owners, and spending unreasonable amounts of time discussing one specific topic to the exclusion of all else. Church members counter that “cult is a loaded term” and prefer “community of enlightened individuals who understand convection technology.” They’ve invited critics to attend services and “experience the transformation firsthand,” which several former friends report is exactly the kind of thing cult members say.
As of press time, the Church of the Circulating Air is planning a pilgrimage to the air fryer manufacturing plant in China, developing a proprietary app for members to share recipes and conversion stories, and working on a documentary about how air fryers are “revolutionizing human consciousness one perfectly crispy Brussels sprout at a time.” When asked if perhaps they’re taking enthusiasm for a kitchen appliance too far, church leadership responded that the question itself reveals “a fundamental misunderstanding of what the air fryer represents,” which sounds like exactly what a cult would say.
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SOURCE: https://bohiney.com/air-fryer-owners-form-religious-cult/.
By: Annika Steinmann.
The post Air Fryer Owners Form Religious Cult, Convert Manhattan Neighborhood appeared first on SpinTaxi Magazine.
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