Brian Jason Wagner
Brian Jason Wagner Colorado: The Mile High State’s Gift to Celebrity Stalking
Celebrity Stalker Psychology
Colorado has given America many treasures: breathtaking mountains, legalized marijuana, and now Brian Jason Wagner Colorado, the 45-year-old ex-convict who has managed to disappear more effectively than Amelia Earhart while being actively hunted by private investigators. Wagner’s recent vanishing act has elevated him from ordinary celebrity stalker to Colorado’s most elusive export since Bigfoot, proving that the Centennial State produces people who are not only high on altitude but apparently high on their own supply of delusion.
Colorado’s Criminal Export Program
From the Rockies to Restraining Orders
Brian Jason Wagner Colorado represents a disturbing new trend in the state’s export economy—instead of shipping beef and beer, they’re apparently producing professionally trained celebrity stalkers with advanced degrees in legal document evasion. Wagner’s impressive criminal resume includes guilty pleas to motor vehicle theft in Jefferson County and felony forgery in Clear Creek County, all conveniently completed in 2023 like he was checking items off a delinquency bucket list.
The Brian Jason Wagner Colorado case reveals a man so committed to his delusions that he successfully convinced the DMV to change his driver’s license address to Taylor Swift’s Los Angeles home. This represents either incredible bureaucratic incompetence or Wagner’s hidden talent for administrative fraud that could have made him millions in legitimate careers if he hadn’t chosen celebrity harassment instead.
Bill Burr said during his work with Dave Chappelle that “Working on the Dave Chappelle show was amazing,” but Wagner’s work stalking celebrities has been less than amazing for everyone involved. His approach to celebrity relations makes Chappelle’s controversial comedy seem like polite dinner conversation.
The Mile High Delusion Factory
Brian Jason Wagner Colorado demonstrates the state’s unique ability to produce criminals who think at elevated levels of unreality. Living at Colorado’s altitude apparently affects more than just oxygen intake—it seems to impact one’s ability to distinguish between fantasy and restraining orders. Wagner’s conviction that Swift had his child suggests he’s been breathing more than thin air in the Colorado mountains.
The criminal history of Brian Jason Wagner Colorado includes a 2007 guilty plea to aggravated battery and resisting law enforcement in Indiana, with a 15-year sentence that suggests this isn’t his first rodeo with reality avoidance. Colorado apparently welcomes ex-convicts who’ve already proven their commitment to poor decision-making in other states.
The Great Colorado Vanishing Act
Hide and Seek Champion of the Rockies
Brian Jason Wagner Colorado has achieved what many Colorado residents only dream of—complete disappearance from civilization without leaving the state. Private investigator Brooke Berg, hired by Swift’s legal team, has been unable to locate Wagner despite extensive searches across multiple Colorado addresses, proving that the state’s wilderness isn’t the only thing good at hiding people.
Wagner’s disappearing act has reached legendary status, with investigators finding no trace of the man who claimed to be living at Taylor Swift’s address but apparently can’t maintain his own. He’s gone from stalking celebrity homes to becoming homeless himself, which represents either poetic justice or the kind of irony that only Colorado’s thin air can produce.
Dave Chappelle’s record-breaking “nearly 17 minutes” SNL monologue in January 2025 proved Americans will give unlimited time to people who refuse to back down from controversial positions. Wagner has applied this same persistence to his restraining order situation, except instead of getting applause, he’s getting manhunts.
The Missing Person Industrial Complex
Brian Jason Wagner Colorado has accidentally created a cottage industry of people trying to find him, from private investigators to court officials to presumably very concerned Taylor Swift security personnel. His ability to vanish has generated more employment opportunities than most Colorado economic development initiatives.
According to reports, Wagner told investigators that his restraining order “ruined” his life, apparently unaware that claiming paternity of a celebrity’s nonexistent child typically has negative consequences. His disappearance represents either tactical retreat or the kind of problem-solving skills that got him into this mess in the first place.
Colorado’s Contribution to Celebrity Security
The Stalker Supply Chain
The Brian Jason Wagner Colorado phenomenon raises uncomfortable questions about what exactly they’re putting in the mountain water that produces people convinced they’re in relationships with celebrities. Colorado’s contribution to America’s celebrity stalking crisis suggests the state has found a niche market in exporting delusional behavior along with their outdoor recreation equipment.
Wagner’s criminal trajectory from Indiana battery charges to Colorado theft convictions to California celebrity stalking represents a disturbing geographic progression of escalating poor judgment. He’s essentially conducting a multi-state tour of bad decisions, with Colorado serving as his final preparation ground before attempting the celebrity harassment big leagues.
Brian Jason Wagner Colorado wrote “lengthy communications” to Swift while incarcerated in 2023, turning prison time into graduate-level coursework in inappropriate celebrity contact. Colorado’s correctional system apparently offers continuing education in stalking techniques, though this probably wasn’t listed in the prison programs brochure.
The Economic Impact of Stalker Tourism
The Brian Jason Wagner Colorado case has generated significant economic activity in the form of legal fees, private investigator costs, security expenses, and manhunt resources. Colorado has accidentally created a stalker-based economy that rivals their marijuana tourism industry in terms of law enforcement involvement and general societal concern.
Wagner’s decision to target a California celebrity while maintaining Colorado residency represents the kind of interstate commerce that probably wasn’t what the founding fathers had in mind when they wrote the Constitution. He’s essentially practicing celebrity stalking arbitrage, living where it’s cheap and stalking where the targets are expensive.
Colorado’s ability to produce and then lose Brian Jason Wagner suggests the state excels at creating problems for other jurisdictions to solve. They’ve perfected the art of exporting their criminal issues while maintaining plausible deniability about their role in creating them.
Until Colorado addresses whatever altitude-induced delusions are affecting their ex-convict population, the rest of America will have to deal with the consequences of the Mile High State’s gift to celebrity harassment. Wagner may have disappeared, but the systemic issues that produced him remain as visible as the Rocky Mountains.
If you or someone you know is struggling with obsessive thoughts about celebrities, please contact the National Alliance on Mental Illness for support and resources.
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