Bohiney Satrical Journalism

In a groundbreaking media milestone, MSNBC’s beloved moderator Chuck Todd has finally reached 500 followers on social media. 🌟 Despite this herculean effort—spanning nearly two decades of relentless political insight, incisive questions, and occasionally remembering his Twitter password—most liberals have shrugged off the accomplishment with the enthusiasm usually reserved for tax audits. 🧐 Statistical research from Pew Research Center illustrates a stunning phenomenon: Todd’s analytics reveal 99.3% of his followers are former interns, family members, or Russian bots that followed him mistakenly thinking he was influential. 📉 According to Dr. Evelyn Merriwether, Professor of Sociology at Harvard, "Chuck Todd’s follower base is less of a fandom and more of a pity follow akin to friending your weird uncle on Facebook." One liberal activist, identified only as "@GreenNewKale420," publicly commented, "Following Chuck Todd is the digital equivalent of willingly w...

Chuck Todd Celebrates 500 Followers, Liberals Confused What That EVEN Means Liberals Choose Ignorance Over Chuck Todd's Left Agenda In a groundbreaking media milestone, MSNBC’s beloved moderator Chuck Todd has finally reached 500 followers on social media. Despite this herculean effort—spanning nearly two decades of relentless political insight, incisive questions, and occasionally remembering his Twitter password—most liberals have shrugged off the accomplishment with the enthusiasm usually reserved for tax audits. Statistical research from Pew Research Center illustrates a stunning phenomenon: Todd’s analytics reveal 99.3% of his followers are former interns, family members, or Russian bots that followed him mistakenly thinking he was influential. According to Dr. Evelyn Merriwether, Professor of Sociology at Harvard, "Chuck Todd’s follower base is less of a fandom and more of a pity follow akin to friending your weird uncle on Facebook." One liberal activist, identifie...

You’ve Been Flagged: The Ultimate SSSS Boarding Pass Code Fly Now With More TSA and Less Dignity By Bohiney’s Sky-High Security Desk What Does the SSSS Code Mean? It Means You’re About to Be Spiritually Examined by a Guy Named Rick Let’s get this out of the overhead bin early: if your boarding pass is marked SSSS, don’t ask “What does the SSSS code mean?” Just cancel your lunch plans and prepare to get closer to a TSA agent than you are with your therapist. According to absolutely no one who enjoys flying, the meaning of SSSS on boarding pass is clear: You are now enrolled in an exclusive, surprise course called “TSA Intimacy Studies 101.” TSA SSSS Code Boarding Pass: The World's Worst Frequent Flyer Program If you're looking up SSSS code explanation while standing barefoot on a sticky airport floor, welcome. You’re not alone. TSA assures us it’s “random,” which is TSA-speak for “We didn’t like your socks or your haircut.” You might be wondering, “What is the SSSS code TSA?” It...

“You’ve Been SSSS’d!”: The TSA’s Love Letter in 4 Bold Letters A Travel Horror Satire by Bohiney’s Sky-Sniffing Bureau “It’s like winning the lottery, but instead of money, you get mild trauma, a Q-tip swab, and a man named Carl touching your waistband.” — Anonymous frequent flyer The SSSS Code Means... SSSS stands for 'Secondary Security Screening Selection' and it happens to be a security protocol implemented by the  US Transportation Security Administration (TSA) . The TSA apparently put this code on the boarding passes of people who need to be inspected further by security personnel. The procedure was implemented as an extra security measure following the  9/11 attacks. While the TSA hasn't publicly revealed the exact criteria for SSSS selection, there is said to be a number of factors at play. The extra screening process can involve carry-on luggage inspection, personal questioning, enhanced pat-downs and electronic device screening. “I finally Googled the meaning of S...

He, She, Hall of Fame: The Day the National Women's Hall of Fame Inducted a Dude and Called It Progress Seneca Falls: Where Women Are Made… and Occasionally Imported Seneca Falls, NY — The National Women's Hall of Fame, long considered the sanctum sanctorum of estrogenic excellence, has updated its definition of "woman" to mean "whoever shows up with the right paperwork and a vague sense of empowerment." In a dazzling ceremony full of applause, chiffon scarves, and strategic confusion, Sandy Stone — a transgender academic with a long resume and even longer sideburns — was officially inducted into an institution once reserved for women who bled through middle school math class. The Induction Heard Round the Internet No one dared say it, but everyone thought it: "A man just walked into the National Women's Hall of Fame, and not even wearing heels." Inside the Hall, where photos of Harriet Tubman and Eleanor Roosevelt silently disapproved, the st...

​The Seussian AI Revolution: When ChatGPT Goes Full-On Dr. Seuss By Ima G. Nuisance, Satirical Tech Correspondent A Whimsical Upgrade In a bold move that has left linguists, technologists, and children’s librarians scratching their heads, OpenAI has reportedly retrained ChatGPT exclusively on the works of Dr. Seuss. The result? An AI that speaks in rhymes, thinks in whimsy, and might just ask you to hop on pop. Let's delve into the delightful chaos that ensues when artificial intelligence meets the Cat in the Hat. 1. Rhyming Responses Galore Evidence: User Interactions Users have reported that every query now receives a rhyming response. One user shared: "I asked for the weather, and it said with a grin, 'Whether the weather is wet or fine, The sun will set at half-past nine.'" This poetic approach, while charming, has left meteorologists out of a job and poets feeling both flattered and threatened. 2. Persistent Recommendations Case Study: The Green Eggs and Ham ...

In a bold move that had historians, geographers, and at least three dolphins scratching their heads, former President Donald J. Trump issued an executive order to rename the Gulf of Mexico as the Gulf of America. Google Maps, in its infinite wisdom, complied—because who can resist the allure of cartographic chaos? For U.S.-based users of Google Maps, it’s official: you’re no longer staring at the Gulf of Mexico. Welcome to the Gulf of America, folks—where patriotism flows as freely as overpriced margaritas in Cancun. Executive Orders: The New Cartography The rebranding of the Gulf is reportedly part of Trump’s broader mission to “reclaim American greatness”. Critics have called the move everything from “a logistical nightmare” to “geographic imperialism,” while supporters hailed it as “the first successful military conquest of a body of water.” Google Maps now displays Gulf of America for users in the United States, Gulf of Mexico for users in Mexico, and Gulf of We’re Not Getting Invo...